Notes About Feedback5:06 with Michelle Zohlman
Before diving into the process, let’s review some important points about feedback.
Before diving into the process, 0:00 let's review some important points about feedback. 0:02 People crave feedback. 0:07 It's about perception. 0:10 Intention matters. 0:13 Timing is key. 0:16 It takes time to process feedback. 0:18 Vague feedback is not effective. 0:22 First, it's important to remember that people crave feedback. 0:25 Have you ever come out of a meeting, looked in the mirror and 0:29 realized that you just spent the last hour talking to the group 0:32 with a piece of food stuck in your teeth? 0:35 How did you respond? 0:38 Did you think, why didn't someone just tell me it was there? 0:40 Were they distracted the whole time we were meeting? 0:44 If you're doing something that negatively impacts your ability to get results, 0:48 you probably don't want people to hold back and 0:52 not give you information to enable you to get better. 0:54 This is generally true across the board. 0:58 People want to know how they're doing, they want feedback. 1:01 Keeping this in mind should make it easier to give feedback when it's needed. 1:04 It's about perception. 1:09 It can also be helpful to remember that the feedback you give may be your truth, 1:11 but isn't necessarily the only truth. 1:16 Two people can see the same situation quite differently. 1:19 By giving feedback, 1:23 you're telling the other person how you perceive the situation. 1:24 When you provide feedback, you're letting the other person know, in your words, 1:28 how their behaviors or actions impacted you or someone else. 1:33 For this reason, I encourage you to stay open to all possibilities. 1:38 As you give feedback, watch their body language and listen for 1:43 indicators that they see it differently. 1:46 You might learn something by inviting them to share with you 1:49 how they saw the same event. 1:52 Intention matters. 1:56 The reason for 1:57 giving feedback should ideally be that you want the other person to be successful. 1:58 By giving feedback, it shows that person you're invested in their growth and 2:03 know they can improve. 2:08 Giving feedback to prove that you're right or 2:10 show them who's boss is a misuse of the process. 2:12 Intention matters here. 2:15 Timing is key. 2:18 Have you had an annual performance review or a report card at school and 2:20 received feedback on behavior that was from weeks or even months prior? 2:24 How did that feedback land with you? 2:29 Well, you may have questioned the validity of the feedback. 2:32 After all, feedback is about the sender's perception, and 2:36 this is their perception from ages ago. 2:40 Do you even remember your perspective of the incident they're describing? 2:42 Or you might have questioned their intention. 2:47 If they want you to be successful, why did they wait so 2:50 long to let you know adjustment is needed? 2:53 It is a very common mistake delaying redirecting feedback, 2:56 because it's hard to do. 2:59 But waiting just makes the conversation less effective. 3:02 So whenever possible, try to give feedback in the moment. 3:05 Of course, if you're in a meeting or other group setting, you'll need to wait. 3:09 Redirecting feedback should be given in private. 3:13 As a rule of thumb, it's best to try to give feedback within an hour of 3:17 the behavior and no more than a day later. 3:21 The longer you wait, the less relevant the feedback will be. 3:24 If you know you tend to delay giving redirecting feedback, 3:29 here are some things you might wanna try. 3:32 Roleplay with a trusted peer or your manager. 3:35 Remind yourself that your reports and peers want feedback. 3:39 Set a goal and just do it! 3:43 It won't be as hard as you're imagining. 3:45 It takes time to process feedback. 3:51 How do you feel when someone says you need to improve your behavior? 3:54 How do you react in that moment? 3:58 Do you get quiet? 4:00 Do you get defensive? 4:01 When receiving feedback, 4:04 most people need a chance to really consider the message and what it means. 4:05 So when you provide redirecting feedback, 4:10 remember, the other person will seldom say thank you in the moment. 4:12 Give them space to absorb the message and 4:18 figure out how they will adjust their behavior. 4:20 If they are quiet or even vocally defensive, try giving them a pass. 4:23 Most people will ultimately appreciate the honest feedback and act on it. 4:29 Let's talk about why vague feedback is not effective. 4:35 It's nice to have someone say great work, but then what? 4:40 Whether you're giving reinforcing or redirecting feedback, vague praise or 4:44 criticism makes it hard for 4:49 the other person to understand you and act on your feedback. 4:51 To get the most from the exchange, 4:55 be sure to give feedback that includes an example of the behavior and its impact. 4:57 This brings us to the effective feedback process. 5:03
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