Receiving Feedback7:14 with Michelle Zohlman
Now that you’re a pro at giving feedback, let’s look at the other side of the conversation - when you are the receiver.
Now that you're a pro at giving feedback, 0:00 let's look at the other side of the conversation when you are the receiver. 0:02 In a perfect world, people at all levels of the business would seek and 0:07 provide constant feedback about performance, engagement, and results. 0:11 There'd be ongoing regular opportunities to connect with coworkers and 0:17 discuss how our work affects one another and how we're each doing. 0:21 In your workplace, feedback may or may not be happening so freely. 0:26 You may have daily or weekly opportunities to talk with your manager or 0:30 peers about how things are going. 0:34 Or you may find yourself waiting until the quarterly, semi annual or annual review. 0:36 Whatever the practice is in your workplace, 0:42 you can help make it comfortable or even rewarding for others to provide you with 0:44 feedback by responding in a way that makes the process easy for them. 0:49 Let's discuss some things you can do to encourage real and 0:54 ongoing feedback from others. 0:58 [SOUND] Ask for feedback. 1:00 The first thing you can do to make it easy for 1:05 others to provide you with feedback is ask. 1:08 The sooner you can let your manager and peers know that not only are you 1:11 open to hearing their thoughts on your work, but you want it, the better. 1:15 You might say, 1:21 I'd like to know how I'm doing, or what are some things I could do better? 1:22 By asking, you're more likely to find out right away 1:28 whether there are things you can do to improve the impact you have on others. 1:31 And if so, what they are. 1:36 I actually set a reminder weekly to check in with someone on how I'm doing. 1:39 It's helped make receiving feedback simple and natural. 1:43 What if you hear feedback but it's too general to act on? 1:48 For example, you gave a presentation to the team and 1:52 afterward your manager says, good job. 1:56 It's nice to hear that they thought you did well, but 2:00 do you know what specifically they appreciated about your work? 2:03 Or what if after the presentation your manager says, 2:07 you're delivery needs some work? 2:11 When feedback is general and 2:13 not related to specific behaviors, consider asking for more details. 2:15 You might say, could you share some more examples? 2:20 Or what specific behaviors can I work on next time? 2:24 [SOUND] Assume positive intent. 2:27 It can be hard to deliver redirecting feedback. 2:31 If someone is taking the time to share their thoughts with you, 2:35 their part will be much easier if you avoid expecting perfect delivery. 2:38 Often words don't come out the way they're intended. 2:43 The other person may come into the conversation with the best of intentions 2:47 and end up saying it in a way that lands wrong for you. 2:51 I encourage you to try not to expect the other person to share their meaning 2:55 perfectly. 2:59 When you receive feedback that sounds harsh check in with yourself. 3:00 How are you feeling? 3:05 Are you eager to defend yourself? 3:06 If so, it's likely because you're assuming that they have negative intent. 3:09 Try to reframe it. 3:14 Remind yourself that a message that sounds harsh is likely just poorly delivered. 3:15 And it's not the delivery that matters, it's the message. 3:21 If you choose to assume that feedback is backed by positive intent, 3:25 even when it's delivered in a hard or clumsy way, you will be better positioned 3:29 to see where you have opportunities to improve and grow. 3:33 This can typically be done internally, talking it through in your head, 3:37 creating the best possible interpretation of the person's intent. 3:41 Try reframing, redirecting feedback in positive terms. 3:46 Let's consider our prior example. 3:51 You gave a team presentation, afterward your manager said, 3:53 your delivery needs work. 3:58 You worked hard to script that presentation and rehearsed for hours. 4:00 Hearing those words you feel your stomach drop, you wanna defend yourself. 4:05 That little voice says, my manager doesn't appreciate me, or 4:10 they have no idea how hard I worked on that presentation. 4:14 Rather than agreeing with that little voice, 4:19 try telling yourself, my manager wants me to be successful. 4:21 They're looking for opportunities to help me get better. 4:25 Then ask them for 4:29 more details about the behaviors they'd like to see in the future. 4:30 More than likely, they'll appreciate the invitation to speak more freely and 4:34 they'll give you advice that will make your presentation stronger in the future. 4:38 Maybe your presentation content was great, but you spoke so 4:44 fast it was hard to follow. 4:47 Great, that's an easy fix for next time. 4:50 Or your manager prefers slides to be formatted another way, 4:53 you used paragraphs and they prefer bullets. 4:57 Another easy fix. 5:00 By reframing their intent you've turned the conversation around and 5:02 given yourself the opportunity to improve your skills. 5:06 What if you're having a hard time reframing the message? 5:11 Using this example, 5:14 you might say to the other person, I'm starting to feel defensive because it 5:16 seems like you're implying that I didn't put enough pre-work into my presentation. 5:20 They'll probably appreciate your transparency and 5:24 the conversation will take a positive turn. 5:28 Focus on what is said, not who said it. 5:33 Sometimes you may receive some feedback that is anonymous. 5:36 For example, if your employer has a 360 review process where peers provide 5:40 each other with performance feedback, 5:45 you may get a list of anonymous scores and comments. 5:47 It's tempting to try and figure out who gave you reinforcing feedback and 5:50 who did the opposite. 5:54 But the real growth happens when you focus on the message, not who sent it. 5:56 I encourage you to focus on what matters and 6:02 avoid trying to figure out who said what. 6:04 [SOUND] Watch for patterns. 6:06 Have you gotten similar feedback for more than one person? 6:10 Or has the same person, 6:14 maybe your manager, given you the same feedback multiple times? 6:16 If you're hearing the same message over time, it's a good idea to ask yourself, 6:21 what specific behaviors of mine are they trying to point out? 6:25 How is this behavior impacting other people? 6:30 And what adjustments can I make or 6:33 what should I keep doing to get the best possible results? 6:36 Knowing the answers to these questions will enable you to take real action. 6:41 How do you close a feedback conversation? 6:46 You might consider just saying thank you. 6:49 What better way to ensure that this person will continue to give you real and timely 6:52 feedback in the future, than to let them know you're open to it and appreciate it. 6:56 Thanks for joining me to learn more about giving and receiving feedback. 7:02 Feedback can be tough, but you've taken a brave step 7:07 towards getting better at a challenging but essential subject 7:10
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