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The Challenges of Handling Feedback

3:16 with Hope Armstrong

Listening to feedback can be challenging. Not all feedback is constructive or helpful. And it's important to recognize the emotions you may feel while receiving feedback.

Challenges of receiving feedback

  • Emotional response
  • Feedback quality
  • Feedback direction

Emotional responses to feedback

When feedback threatens our worth (sense of self-respect and confidence)...

  • Shame emotions: negative self talk, self-doubt, sadness, worthlessness, embarrassment, hurt

When feedback threatens our safety (perceived physical, social, or material security)...

  • Secondary emotions: judgement, blame, anger, violence, betrayal, withdrawal, or denial
  • Primary emotions: fear (anxiety, worry) and sadness (loss, disappointment, discouragement)

When feedback causes disconnection (an emotional disconnection from the situation)...

  • Reactions: feeling numb, stunned, dumbfounded, flabbergasted, or shocked
  • 0:00

    Feedback helps you and your designs get better, but it's not always easy to hear.

  • 0:06

    There are three main challenges.

  • 0:09

    Handling your emotional response, navigating unfair feedback,

  • 0:14

    and preventing miscommunications.

  • 0:18

    Handling your emotional response to feedback can be the most difficult.

  • 0:22

    We can all remember a time when we were criticized and it didn't feel good.

  • 0:28

    As humans we crave approval because it confirms our sense of worthiness.

  • 0:33

    And we naturally fear rejection because criticism questions our safety and

  • 0:38

    worthiness.

  • 0:38

    Let me break down this emotional response.

  • 0:42

    Worth is the sense of self respect and confidence.

  • 0:45

    When feedback threatens our worth, we feel shame for emotions such as

  • 0:50

    negative self talk, self doubt, sadness, embarrassment, and hurt.

  • 0:56

    Safety is our perceived physical, social, or material security.

  • 1:01

    When feedback threatens our safety,

  • 1:04

    it's usually displayed as a secondary emotion, such as judgement,

  • 1:09

    blame, anger, violence, betrayal, withdrawal, or denial.

  • 1:14

    Those reactions are rooted in fear based emotions, such as anxiety and worry.

  • 1:19

    As well as sadness based emotions such as loss, disappointment, and discouragement.

  • 1:25

    Another common reaction is to emotionally disconnect from the situation.

  • 1:31

    This amounts to feeling numb or shocked.

  • 1:34

    It's important to know that for those with past trauma, criticism can trigger

  • 1:39

    memories of past abuse and the emotions can compound in intensity.

  • 1:43

    I'll be teaching you techniques to handle your emotional response to criticism

  • 1:49

    later in this workshop, but please be assured you are not your design.

  • 1:54

    And a criticism of your work is not a criticism of you.

  • 1:57

    Believe it or not, the more you practice receiving feedback the more of it you'll

  • 2:01

    want and the better you'll become as a designer.

  • 2:04

    The second challenge relates to the quality of the feedback.

  • 2:08

    Later on I'll speak about the spectrum of feedback, all the good and the bad.

  • 2:14

    Some of this is uncontrollable,

  • 2:16

    but if you can get ahead of the feedback you can prevent miscommunications.

  • 2:20

    When you present a design, there may be confusion around the context,

  • 2:25

    constraints, and goals.

  • 2:27

    People with different perspective, non-design backgrounds, or

  • 2:31

    new collaborators may not be aware of your process.

  • 2:35

    There may also be a lack of awareness regarding technical, time,

  • 2:39

    or resource constraints.

  • 2:41

    Providing those details up front allows everyone to get aligned.

  • 2:47

    The third challenge refers to their feedback direction.

  • 2:50

    As a UX designer, you're tasked with merging several ideas and

  • 2:54

    perspectives into a clear cohesive vision.

  • 2:58

    Distilling disparate comments and moving in a clear direction is difficult.

  • 3:02

    And you may feel like you're being sent in multiple directions.

  • 3:07

    How do you know what to do with the feedback you receive?

  • 3:10

    That covers the challenges.

  • 3:13

    In the next video I'll discuss the different types of feedback.

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