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What I've Learned Running a Fake Tech Startup37:24 with Matt Ruby
Vooza founder (and standup comedian) Matt Ruby explains the tips he's picked up in the trenches of the startup world. He'll teach you why getting funding trumps getting revenue, how to behave more like Steve Jobs, and why you should start paying your employees to quit. After this talk, you'll never look at your business the same way again. Also, you'll never want to look at yourself in the mirror again.
Okay everybody, welcome back. 0:02 For final keynote, it is my distinct 0:04 pleasure to welcome to the stage, Matt Ruby. 0:06 Matt Ruby is the CEO of Vooza, which is a really exciting startup, been following 0:09 it pretty closely I'm really interested in some 0:13 of the business insights he has to offer. 0:17 And so I, please give your attention. 0:19 And a round, a welcoming round of applause to Matt Ruby. 0:21 [APPLAUSE] 0:24 [MUSIC] 0:27 >> To come with something truly original, you have to ignore common sense. 0:29 >> You have to start from scratch. 0:33 You've got to take that call and say, sorry, I can't talk right now, hang up on 0:35 the past, that's what we've done at Vooza. 0:40 >> Vooza brings together group messaging, recommendations, and local 0:47 search in a way that's real time, and customizable. 0:52 And then also we steal data from your phone and sell it. 0:54 [MUSIC]. 0:57 >> When it comes to design everything we do is simple, elegant, functional. 1:02 I look at a tea pot and I say, how 1:08 can our interface be more like steam, invisible, yet forceful. 1:11 >> A process, agile, and we, we make sure our App is filled with 1:18 authenticity, passion and we're constantly 1:23 coming up with question, like what if, what if [UNKNOWN]. 1:28 Can 1:33 they be local? 1:36 >> What if you could leave user reviews, on members of your family. 1:37 >> What if your photo filters, had an API? 1:42 And 1:44 what if that API, had its own photo filter? 1:47 >> We believe in the power of iteration. 1:51 We recently started off as Stumble Monkey, 1:53 which was like Airbnb, but for online dating. 1:55 So when you left town you could rent out your spouse or partner. 1:58 Great idea, but we found out it was illegal. 2:01 So then we had to piff it. 2:05 [MUSIC] 2:08 >> We changed our name to Gugu Gupta, that's with six Rs. 2:10 And that App was like, Spotify meets grinder, but for rental cars. 2:15 But run as if, it were for a hotel. 2:21 >> And then from there we could move and form a flip spot, that was 2:24 like instapaper, we used Kickstarter, and a 2:28 little bit like Quora, but without the questions. 2:31 And we took the credit card payments and made them animated GIFs. 2:34 >> Every start up can tell you how much you earned from failure. 2:37 And if you look at how much we failed, 2:40 that's where you can see how smart we've become. 2:44 >> We believe in radical impactful transparency. 2:49 Something that we call, radimparency. 2:56 And that's why we're gonna bring cameras into our office and show 3:00 you View the process and our team as we build our App. 3:03 You're gonna get to see the best social, local, mobile and 3:05 real time web App, that's ever been built from the ground up. 3:09 >> Watch out world, because the [UNKNOWN] 3:14 a volcano is about to disrupt. 3:20 [NOISE] 3:24 [MUSIC] 3:30 [APPLAUSE] Hey 3:37 everyone. 3:44 Can you hear me? 3:51 Is this mic turned up? 3:52 Sound good? 3:53 Everyone hear me in the back? 3:53 Yeah? 3:56 Anyone alive in this room? 3:56 All right, I feel a lot of energy pulsing through this space right now. 3:58 I know I'm the last thing standing between you and free booze, 4:03 so I'll try to keep that in mind as we move forward. 4:07 And I'll try to be more exciting than watching people code. 4:12 Try to do that. 4:16 [LAUGH] We'll see how it goes, though. 4:17 I am the CEO and founder of Vooza. 4:20 And what I'd like to do today is talk to you 4:24 about some of the lessons, that I've learned from Vooza that 4:26 I think you can bring into your own world when you're 4:29 running a startup with developing and creating the NAP, anything like that. 4:33 So let's get into it. 4:37 First off, we'll start with the Bible. 4:41 For me it's that book right there. 4:44 Steve Jobs biography. 4:46 That's the Bible. 4:47 Steve Jobs is my messiah. 4:48 So what I like to always ask myself. 4:50 What would Steve do? 4:52 All the time I ask myself that question, so the first thing what would Steve do? 4:54 Wear a black turtleneck. 4:58 [LAUGH] That's right, people said hey Matt, it's 91 degrees, you're 4:59 in Las Vegas, are you sure you wanna wear a turtle neck? 5:05 And I'm like hey, that's what Steve would do, all right? 5:07 So here I am, mission accomplished. 5:10 What else would Steve do? 5:12 Stop showering. 5:14 All right? 5:16 I haven't showered in three and a half weeks, people. 5:16 All right? 5:20 When I walk into a room, I make an impression. 5:21 [LAUGH] People know I'm there. 5:25 They're talking about me. 5:26 What else would Steve do? 5:28 Well, Steve famously went to India. 5:29 Studied the culture there, brought that attitude into his product design. 5:31 Well, I myself have never been to India, but, about a month ago, I did spend 12 5:35 hours on the phone with Delta customer support, 5:43 [LAUGH] so it's kind of an even trade, really. 5:45 You know, I know a lot about the culture in Bangalore now. 5:50 Also, take LSD as much as possible. 5:54 [LAUGH] Really a key, whenever I'm in Las Vegas I like to 5:57 go out to the native tribes and obtain some of their peyote. 6:00 I am on a heroic dose of hallucinogens right now. 6:04 And I've gotta tell you, this carpet looks incredible. 6:08 [LAUGH] Oh my god, just giant flowers attacking me. 6:12 Love it. 6:17 So, one of the key questions I get asked all the time. 6:19 How much funding do you need? 6:22 I've got an App idea, I've got a startup. 6:24 How much funding do I need? 6:26 And I always like to point to an App called Color. 6:27 All right? 6:30 Now Color raised $41 million in funding, and 6:31 went out of business less than two years later. 6:34 And I think there's a clear lesson that you can learn from that. 6:36 You need more than $41 million to build a WebApp [LAUGH] right? 6:41 What are we doing here? 6:45 We can't just do it on you know, pocket change. 6:46 You know we're spending a lot of money because we're losing a lot of money. 6:48 All right? 6:52 So, also remember when it comes to a startup, profit is the enemy, all right, 6:54 as soon as you start making money, people 6:58 are gonna know what you're worth, all right? 7:01 If you're loosing money, the sky is the limit. 7:04 Remember revenue generating business if that's what you got, 7:08 sorry, 1994 called, it want's its business model back. 7:11 All right, this is all about borrowing money, you should be loosing 7:14 money and expanding fast because as we all know that's what scale's. 7:18 And lastly remember this, the more money you 7:25 borrow, the higher your valuation, all right, we 7:27 always see this a company raises another $200 7:30 million it's like whoa now they're $3 billion. 7:32 Because as we all know, people who borrow money are worth the most. 7:36 I see a guy, a homeless guy under a bridge, asking for change, I'm 7:41 like wow, I wonder what his valuation is, [LAUGH] cuz he's asking for money. 7:46 That's how you know he's winning. 7:50 Passion. 7:54 You need passion, you know, people ask me at Vooza how do you keep 7:56 your employees so passionate and I tell 8:00 them every employee has to take Tango lessons. 8:02 Three times a week. 8:05 Sometimes our coders they just have a rose in their mouth just to fake it a 8:06 little bit, all right, you need to instill 8:10 that passion in your work force because the key. 8:12 With a startup is pretending to 8:15 be passionate about things that incredibly boring. 8:17 [LAUGH] Every interview you hear with anyone in 8:19 the tech world, you're going to hear that. 8:21 You know, it's going to be, I'm passionate about grids, you know? 8:23 Nothing more exciting than when straight lines intersect, right? 8:28 That's what I'm passionate about. 8:30 In fact, I've actually gone to Google, done a search for at blank we are 8:33 passionate about, just to see what would could 8:37 find there, as far as startup passion goes. 8:40 So let's take look at some companies that really understand passion. 8:44 Infoskep, they're passionate about collecting 8:48 purchase behavior in the offline world. 8:51 Well who isn't, really, well you know I 8:53 remember being a wee little kid and just being 8:55 so excited about collecting purchase [INAUDIBLE], purchase [LAUGH] [INAUDIBLE] 8:58 so payroll, they're passionate about payroll, very exciting stuff. 9:03 You know, print place they're passionate about printing ink, toner cartridges. 9:07 Paper stock, we're all passionate about that kinda stuff. 9:13 Bloom, they are passionate about delivering 9:17 outstanding paid search and social advertising results. 9:18 You know, another barn burner topic. 9:22 You know that's real passion. 9:25 Let's keep going. 9:26 Website CMS, that's easy to be passionate about. 9:27 Making templates, oh, I am super passionate about making templates. 9:29 building, engaging in real time conversations. 9:34 I, I remember being a little kid and asking my 9:37 parents if we could build an engaging real time conversation. 9:40 And they sent me to my room. 9:45 [LAUGH] Which is how I wand up here 9:46 today, needing your attention, that's how that happened. 9:49 And works pretty their passion about 9:52 collaborative consumption, that doesn't even mean anything. 9:54 [LAUGH] 9:56 They're really innovating to the next level. 9:59 And perhaps my favorite, Pestco Lab, passionate about 10:02 helping pest controlled companies achieve their marketing goals. 10:05 That's a key, everyone loves pest company marketing goals. 10:09 So, you know, figure out what you're passionate about, 10:14 and if it's nothing, just make something up, it's fine. 10:16 Let's get into hiring. 10:20 Something I ask whenever I'm interviewing a person, I say 10:21 would I like to get a drink with this person. 10:24 I always ask myself, when I'm sitting across the table from a 10:25 job candidate, would I like to get a drink with this person. 10:28 And if the answer is yes. 10:31 I stop the interview and we do shots. 10:33 [LAUGH] Yeah, because I am an alcoholic. 10:35 [LAUGH] And I also have poor social skills 10:38 so it's very difficult for me to meet people. 10:40 And I've found that pretending you have a job opening, 10:44 is a great way to bring people into your world. 10:47 [LAUGH] Sure, we're hiring for an information architect. 10:49 Are you cool with patron? 10:54 [LAUGH] That's my help wanted at. 10:56 So, I also when it comes to hiring I like to look at the thought leaders. 11:01 You know, the heroes of our industry. 11:05 Steve Jobs. 11:06 Mark Zuckerberg. 11:08 Bill Gates. 11:09 What lesson can we learn from these people, and 11:10 I think the key lesson, only hire college dropouts. 11:12 People who drop out of college, they're free thinkers. 11:17 You know, at Vooza, we actually only hire 11:21 people who have dropped out of high school. 11:22 [LAUGH] Yeah, cuz those are people who didn't 11:25 just regurgitate facts for the man, you know? 11:27 They escaped the institution. 11:30 That's the kind of people that we want at Vooza. 11:33 Along those lines, I want to bring you inside the hiring process 11:36 of Vooza, show you what it's like when we do a group interview. 11:39 Cuz that's the key, to our hiring practice, we 11:43 like to have a bunch of different people in the 11:46 company meet with a candidate, and interview them and ask 11:48 them questions and it can get a little bit challenging. 11:50 Let's take a look at what that's like. 11:52 Thanks for coming in, really impressive resume gonna have you meet with 11:54 a few members of our team, make sure you're a good fit. 11:59 >> Hey, thanks for coming, it's really exciting to meet you. 12:02 >> We'd like to ask some questions to test your problem solving ability. 12:06 >> How do you measure four gallons of 12:10 water using only a three and five gallon jug. 12:11 >> How much would you charge to wash all the windows in Seattle. 12:14 >> Why won't my ex-wife return my calls? 12:17 >> How many times a day do the hands on a clock overlap? 12:21 >> How would the person who likes you least, describe you? 12:24 >> How many piano tuners are there in the entire world? 12:28 >> Have you ever had a supervisor challenge your behavior before? 12:31 >> We've also have your Meyers Briggs test results here, and you are a INTP. 12:34 >> Your astrology chart is really fascinating. 12:40 >> How many golf balls fit in a school bus, [BLEEP]? 12:43 >> I mean I can't remember a time where we disagreed here, we're like one big family. 12:45 >> Disagreement one of our core values. 12:50 What would you say is the biggest risk you've ever taken [SOUND] cuz one time 12:54 I was at this bachelor party in South Africa, which I know what your thinking. 12:59 isnt' that the highest rate of HIV in the world? 13:04 And yes that is true. 13:07 But a bachelor party, is bachelor party. 13:09 So there I am, I'm high out of my mind on ivory dust. 13:11 For your FYI that is like a ground up like elephant tusk. 13:14 You get that straight up into your brain. 13:18 And let's just say, I didn't feel like I was in South Africa anymore. 13:20 Where I felt like I was moon walking on the moon. 13:23 Anyways, 13:26 >> Yes so explain to me what a database is, but 13:27 in terms an eight year old can understand, and also go slowly. 13:30 >> I mean would you consider that manslaughter? 13:34 >> Which one is the cat? 13:36 Which one's me? 13:37 [SOUND] Trick question, we're both me, this is my horcrux. 13:38 >> I see that water is dominant in your chart. 13:44 That means that it's tough for you to get in touch with your physical plane. 13:46 My advice is, when that happens just go outside, 13:50 take a walk in the park, hug a tree. 13:54 Work with clay, get a massage, did I all ready say that one? 13:57 I don’t know, make eye contact with squirrels. 14:01 I don’t know, just remind yourself that you are part of the physical plane. 14:04 >> All right, big horcrux crowd, okay, let’s see what we are dealing with here. 14:11 And the last thing that I'd like to talk about when it comes to 14:16 hiring, is a little something that we do which is paying employees to quit. 14:20 So after a month of working a Vooza, we 14:25 give every new employee an option you can either stay 14:27 with the company or we're gonna $50 gift card to 14:30 Starbucks and you can just walk away, no questions asked. 14:33 All right? 14:37 And so far, 90% of the people that we've offered that deal to, have quit. 14:37 And I wish I could tell you why, but part of 14:43 the deal is we're not allowed to ask questions, so I 14:45 guess I don't know what's happening with that, but I, I 14:48 do feel that it's a sign that we're doing something right. 14:51 So I encourage you to follow through on that too. 14:55 Now I wanna move on to talk about focus. 14:58 Focus isn't saying yes to something, that's 15:01 what a lot of people think, it's not. 15:03 focus is about saying no to hundreds of little things. 15:05 That's the way you know you're really focusing. 15:09 So, I'm more proud of the things we 15:12 haven't done, than the things we have done. 15:14 So when people say, hey Vooza, you've been around for years. 15:17 You haven't ever even launched an App. 15:21 I say exactly. 15:23 [LAUGH] I'm proud of that. 15:24 I'm proud of all the things we haven't done. 15:28 So, when I say you need to say no to most things, what am I talking about? 15:32 Features, people, meetings, deodorant, basic human emotions, any sense of 15:37 perspective of what the real world outside of startups is like. 15:42 Say no to it all right, you need to be in a fantasy world. 15:46 Now, you also need to have a bigger purpose,okay. 15:51 Can't just go around telling people you're in it to make money. 15:55 All right, so what we say is at Vooza, that we 15:58 wanna do something meaningful and make the world a better place. 16:00 The way corporations have always done. 16:05 You know, we look at companies like BP, Monsanto, Wal-Mart, 16:08 and we say that's the kind of impact we wanna have. 16:14 You know, those are the countries that are changing the world better, reaching 16:19 every corner of the environment, of the oceans, of every third world country. 16:22 And we wanna be the same way. 16:27 Where does that start? 16:30 It starts with knowing your core values, so, for us, respect, integrity, humility. 16:31 Using vague jargon to make meaningless lists. 16:41 [LAUGH] All of those are our core values. 16:45 It's also important to have a mission statement. 16:48 You need to set a clear, easy to understand vision for your company. 16:51 Then you need to write it down. 16:55 Then you need to put it in a jar, and never refer to it again. 16:57 This is essential in the startup world. 17:00 You need to something that you made up, 17:02 that sounds good, that isn't just about masking money. 17:05 So for us, our mission is to give people the power to share, to revitalize 17:08 local communities, to bring clean water to 17:12 Africa, prevent global warming, to protect wild dolphins. 17:14 And of course then IPO for tons of cash. 17:17 That's our mission statement. 17:20 What's yours? 17:21 Another thing we look at is, the office environment. 17:24 Perks. 17:27 Always key when it comes to a startup. 17:28 You know, I wanna have nerf gun wars, a 17:30 bean bag chair and someone to cook all my meals. 17:32 Silicon Valley employee and or any five year old, all right? 17:36 No coincidence there's a Lego table outside. 17:39 [LAUGH] Okay, you guys have the mindset of infants, 17:42 all right, we all know it, let's just jump aboard. 17:46 We do it at Vooza. 17:50 We have a whole video dedicated to the Office Perks that we have at Vooza. 17:52 Let's go through that, so you can see that. 17:56 >> Every great journey begins with the first step. 17:58 And the first step you take here at Vooza, is off the elevator. 18:02 [BLEEP] 18:05 [MUSIC] 18:06 >> And the space is so elegant. 18:10 There's these windows that bring a sense of not being in the building. 18:13 But outside of it. 18:18 Like, I can see through a wall. 18:21 >> Our primary objective is to create an 18:24 office that people love and never wanna leave. 18:25 The kinda place where you're like I forgot I was 18:28 even supposed to go to my kid's little league game. 18:31 >> And as you enter, we like to pull you into our reception area. 18:35 We rally capture the should of the magazines that are over there. 18:39 Like I like to pretend I'm in Forbes Magazine. 18:44 And I'm a business man, telling business people what to do in their business time. 18:48 >> Well it's a free environment where people express themselves, you 18:55 know, we have white boards everywhere anyone can write on them. 18:59 And yeah, [INAUDIBLE] that may look a little 19:01 chaotic but that's how our engineers like it. 19:03 >> We have a playful environment here. 19:07 We have this spectacular ping pong table that looks like 19:08 it just dropped in from outer space Ping Pong anyone? 19:13 I mean, this is where we do some of our most meaningful play. 19:17 And then there's like this Foosball table that we have, where you can 19:21 just spin these players over and over again, and then sometimes I like 19:24 to pretend I'm one of those players and I'm just spinning round and 19:29 around, just I don't even care if the ball is anywhere near me. 19:33 I'm just spinning, you know- 19:37 >> We encourage people to take ownership of their spaces. 19:42 It teaches people it's okay to be yourself. 19:46 >> Lots of perks here we've got the 19:51 refrigerator that's filled with Red Bull and pudding. 19:52 You know and that puts you in that childlike state of mind, 19:56 you know, which is where I feel the best ideas come from. 20:00 >> I expense my massages, my Pilates classes, my eyebrow shaping, my [UNKNOWN] 20:05 weekly, my therapist, my Klonopin and, no one's said anything so far, so. 20:09 Biggest find. 20:16 >> Just like Facebook, we like to offer free 20:17 transportation to anyone that wants to commute across our campus. 20:20 >> [INAUDIBLE]. 20:24 >> We have a special acoustical space that employees can use as a primal scream room. 20:26 >> Aah! 20:30 Mommy! 20:33 Mo! 20:34 >> Most companies view their offices as the square footage they rent. 20:35 We view it as the environment we inhabit. 20:39 >> And its our environment that makes it all possible. 20:45 >> Look at that primal screen room, I'm telling you guys, it does wonders. 20:54 All right, something I don't like the tech 20:59 world is the way we talk about the creatives. 21:02 You know, cuz we always say the 21:05 designers are the creatives, maybe the copywriters too. 21:06 But I think that it's important to recognize that in your company anyone 21:10 can be creative, you know, for example, I do a lot of creative accounting 21:15 [LAUGH] okay, I think that counts as being creative, for example this week I 21:19 am gonna right off $30,000 worth of lap dances at [UNKNOWN] [LAUGH] All right? 21:24 That's not easy to do. 21:29 A lot of creativity required. 21:30 Keep that in mind. 21:32 Along the same lines, I always like to hop into the room with our designers and say 21:34 hey, let's stay here for the weekend and 21:38 redesign the logo by the way, I hate srifs. 21:41 And they love that. 21:45 Nothing designers like more than when you hop and 21:47 in you, get into the flow with them, you know? 21:49 A lot of the designers, they're like, oh, 21:52 but you don't have years of design education. 21:54 I'm like, yeah, but you know what I do have? 21:56 Got, got instinct. 21:58 That's what I rely on. 22:01 Also, a hatred of serifs. 22:03 Now, developers. 22:06 Boy, these divas, am I right? 22:08 How do you work with these guys? 22:11 Well, I'll tell you a secret. 22:12 Tell you a secret to how you get 22:14 your developers to work the entire weekend for free. 22:15 The secret is call it a hackathon. 22:18 [LAUGH] Yeah. 22:23 All the sudden working for free for the entire weekend is exciting. 22:24 Yay! 22:27 It's like a race. 22:28 Let's see who can clean the toilets the fastest. 22:30 Call it a hackathon. 22:33 Also, you wanna overdose on collaboration. 22:35 A lot of companies, they'll do something called pair programming, 22:37 where two programmers are together on the same machine coding together. 22:41 Well at Vooza we like to take everything to the next level. 22:44 So instead of pair programming, we do handcuff programming. 22:46 [LAUGH] That's right, our program is 22:50 actually chained together one hand typing on 22:53 each side, they love it, as long as you don't lose the key. 22:55 That was a rough day. 23:00 Just don't lose the key. 23:01 Now I wanna talk about productivity, people say to 23:04 me, Matt, how in the world are you so productive? 23:05 And I tell them the secret is I 23:09 spend 12 hours a day reading articles about productivity. 23:11 That's the key to how I get so much done. 23:15 So I recommend you do the same, but also, be careful with this. 23:17 It is possible to become addicted to productivity porn. 23:21 Or as we call it, entrepornagraphy. 23:26 [LAUGH] Yeah, we've actually created a video. 23:28 That let's you see if you have some 23:31 of the symptoms of someone who's addicted to entrepornography. 23:33 Let's take a look. 23:37 >> Are you addicted to entrepornography? 23:38 Here are the symptoms. 23:42 One, you're spending more time reading about productivity then doing actual work. 23:44 >> Hey, Steve, you gotta read this contract. 23:50 >> Not now, bro. 23:52 A little busy. 23:53 >> Oh, that's it Paul Graham. 23:53 Oh, damn, do you know how to write an essay. 23:55 >> Two, you're lying to coworkers. 23:59 >> With Seth [UNKNOWN] he's like a writer, no I haven't heard of him. 24:01 >> You've got purple cow in your crotch. 24:05 >> No man, my doctor says that's a temporary thing. 24:08 Oh, the book. 24:10 Right. 24:11 The book, right. 24:12 The book. 24:13 Yes, the book. 24:14 >> Three, your real work is no longer attractive. 24:16 >> Hey Steve, you going to this meeting? 24:20 >> Not now man, I've been watching mixer gene movies for the last 11 hours. 24:21 >> Feed me, Andrew, feed me! 24:25 Tell me more about how to become a CEO of a business that won't matter in ten years. 24:27 Four, you feel like a productivity pervert. 24:33 >> Oh daddy's getting [INAUDIBLE] [NOISE]. 24:35 >> Five, you're suffering from isolation. 24:40 >> I need to be more agile. 24:43 I need to get more lead. 24:46 >> Depression. 24:47 >> I need to take down the keys off the mountain. 24:49 >> Irritability and anxiety. 24:52 >> And I'm gonna put on my crown and I'm gonna say bow down to me. 24:54 It's my time. 25:00 It's my time now. 25:02 [SOUND]. 25:07 >> [SOUND] If these symptoms look 25:08 familiar, a counselor or therapist can help. 25:10 I've already lost one coworker. 25:13 That's a pain you don't wanna feel. 25:15 >> Yeah, I know I'm getting things done. 25:18 Because everything is urgent, because everything is 25:20 urgent and important and the same time. 25:23 No I'm GTD, I'm totally GTD right now. 25:27 >> Everything is urgent and important. 25:37 All right guys. 25:42 What's up next? 25:44 Oh, jargon. 25:45 Tech world loves jargon. 25:47 We love our lingo, but sometimes it's tough to know what it actually means. 25:48 So, I thought what I'd do right now is, run through some 25:54 actual language used in the tech world and translate it for you. 25:57 So you've got a feeling, for how you can talk like someone who gets it. 26:01 All right? 26:05 So when someone says, hey, we're proudly almost defiantly geeky, it's from a real 26:06 interview, what that translates to, no one here understands basic social skills. 26:12 Okay? 26:17 Proudly defiantly geeky. 26:18 Now you know what it means. 26:20 Next step, we'll give you a platform that will provide you with great exposure. 26:22 What does that actually mean? 26:25 We can't pay you anything. 26:27 [LAUGH] People with no money love to offer exposure, because it's worthless. 26:29 [CROSSTALK] Next up, we're in stealth mode, oh, that sounds exciting doesn't it? 26:35 We're in stealth mode. 26:39 What does that actually mean? 26:40 I'm embarrassed and ashamed of our product. 26:42 Please give me more time. 26:45 That's what stealth mode means. 26:48 I'm hiring for a cultural fit. 26:50 You see this one all the time. 26:52 Hiring for a cultural fit. 26:53 What's the real meaning there? 26:55 I'll only consider 20-something white males who also like Star Wars. 26:57 That's what a cultural fit needs. 27:01 Next up, this is another one from a real interview. 27:04 I'm a tough user interface that causes problems with other stakeholders. 27:07 How do you translate that? 27:11 I'm a huge douche. 27:12 That's what that mean. 27:15 Tough user interface. 27:16 You're a terrible person. 27:17 That's what that actually means. 27:19 And lastly, our App creates meaningful connections. 27:21 You see this one all the time. 27:25 Our App creates meaningful connections. 27:26 What's that really mean? 27:28 We help teenagers send each other naked selfies. 27:29 [LAUGH] That is the kind of meaningful 27:32 connections the tech world is helping facilitate. 27:34 Another thing I like to talk about is the five whys. 27:38 Five whys, a fascinating technique. 27:41 It was actually originated back in Japan at the Toyota company. 27:43 It's a way of getting to the real nature of a problem. 27:48 If you keep asking why enough times, the true nature of the problem will 27:51 reveal itself, and luckily I have an example of this from the Vooza offices. 27:56 Of how we've used the five whys at Vooza 28:01 and I think you, you'll really learn from it. 28:03 >> You see Matt, every supposedly technical problem is actually 28:07 a human problem, that's why we ask the five whys. 28:10 >> Five whys. 28:12 >> Five whys. 28:13 It's an old technique developed by Toyota. 28:14 You just ask the question why five times and then the 28:16 nature of the problem as when as it's solution becomes clear. 28:19 >> You, [UNKNOWN]. 28:23 Sever crashed again. 28:24 >> Not again. 28:27 >> Let's do the five why's, why did the server crash? 28:28 >> We pushed a new API to that server. 28:30 >> Why? 28:32 >> We just launched a new feature, it probably used that API the wrong way. 28:33 >> Why? 28:36 >> We have a new engineer who doesn't know how to use that API properly. 28:37 >> Why? 28:41 >> We never trained him. 28:41 >> Why? 28:42 >> Cuz you didn't wanna train him, you sent me an 28:43 email that said, if they can't figure it out, screw them. 28:45 >> Why? 28:47 >> Because as a leader, you're a little bit incompetent and 28:48 you kinda know it so you hide behind this tough guy. 28:51 >> Okay you know what? 28:53 This whole thing is exactly why I would never buy a Toyota? 28:54 >> Well at least we figured it out right? 28:56 You see what seemed a technical problem, is actually a managerial program. 28:58 >> You know what? 29:01 We can start offering a training program. 29:02 I'll just have to cut your salary by 25%? 29:03 >> Why? 29:07 >> Cuz I can't afford to pay you a full salary and have a training program. 29:09 >> Why? 29:12 >> Cuz we don't make enough money for that, we have no revenue coming in. 29:13 >> Why? 29:17 >> Cuz no one wants to buy what we're making. 29:18 >> Why? 29:20 >> Cuz what we're making's worthless. 29:20 >> Why? 29:23 >> I think everyone who works here is incompetent. 29:24 >> Well, well then we should stop asking the five why's, it's stupid. 29:27 >> Why? 29:30 >> Well, cuz I don't want my salary cut. 29:31 >> Why? 29:33 >> Well I need money to buy things. 29:33 >> Why? 29:35 >> Because that's how I'm programmed by society. 29:36 Society tells me that's what will make me happy. 29:39 >> Why? 29:41 >> Because a few corporations want me to 29:42 keep buying stuff you know, I'm like the sheep. 29:44 You know, the, the fast food companies can fatten me 29:46 up and then the healthcare industry can slim me back down. 29:48 I'm just like a pinball being whacked around an arcade. 29:51 So that one man can have it all. 29:54 >> Why? 29:56 >> Because the Illuminati or something. 29:57 [MUSIC] 30:00 [APPLAUSE]. 30:04 >> It's always the Illuminati. 30:07 Also a great lesson in how to use giant, inflatable balls. 30:12 At your workspace, keep that in mind too. 30:16 So let's talk about monitors. 30:20 Let's talk about your workspace. 30:24 You always wanna use multiple monitors. 30:25 Now why is that? 30:28 Because you should always test your UI on 30:30 a set up none of your customers can afford. 30:31 [LAUGH] That's really essential. 30:33 You know what are they, they're gonna be looking at a nine inch screen, or a phone, 30:37 or a fifteen inch screen, that's why you should 30:40 have at least 80 inches of screen real estate. 30:42 All right, that way you can see things that they can't even imagine. 30:44 It's gonna give you insight, for example, take a look at my setup, bam. 30:49 [LAUGH] That's right, what do you have one or two monitors? 30:57 Please. 30:58 All right? 31:00 Look at my set up, I've got online poker, 31:00 Gizmodo, Hacker News, World of Warcraft, a surveillance camera of 31:04 the lobby and of course, right in the middle, the 31:08 most important screen, a non-stop loop of kittens falling asleep. 31:11 [LAUGH] Because they inspire me. 31:14 [LAUGH] Also, I read two books at the same time. 31:18 [LAUGH] It's all about multi-tasking, people. 31:25 So, I'm about to start wrapping up. 31:30 What I would like to tell you though, is if you've enjoyed this presentation, if 31:33 you've enjoyed the videos, I really encourage you 31:35 to go check out our site at vooza.com. 31:37 We have almost 80 videos, similar to the ones you saw here today. 31:40 Lessons about the tech world. 31:44 How you can emulate what we've done at Vooza. 31:46 I encourage you to sign up for our email list there too. 31:48 We send out a new video every week. 31:51 You'll be the first to know about it. 31:53 We've gotten lots of good press. 31:56 People like Dennis Crowley and David Carp talking about 31:58 it, you wanna jump in with those thought leaders. 32:01 We also have a twitter account, @voozahq. 32:03 Which you can follow along, we post a lot of great tips and ideas there. 32:06 It's good way to get a hold of me as well, or you can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. 32:11 I have only eight layers of personal assistants. 32:16 That scan my emails, so, there's a chance it gets through. 32:19 And, one more thing, right? 32:24 It'll about what Steve would do. 32:27 Steve would have one more thing. 32:29 So what's my final thought for you guys? 32:31 I want you to embrace failure. 32:34 Like, right now, I can just, sense in this room. 32:37 You all are really embracing failure. 32:40 [LAUGH] You're really nailing this one already. 32:42 I wanted to encourage you to do it more, though. 32:45 You know, when a startup fails, that's a success. 32:47 That mean your learning, you know? 32:51 It's the old invidious dilemma. 32:53 Doing the right thing is the wrong thing. 32:55 If you're doing the right thing, you're creating a me too product. 32:57 Right? 33:02 You're doing the obvious thing, you're doing what everyone else is trying to do. 33:02 If you're doing the wrong thing, your disrupting, all right? 33:05 And so what do I mean by that? 33:10 It's all about how your frame your failure. 33:11 So, for example, I could say my wife wants to divorce me. 33:14 I could say that, or I could say that my 33:19 wife is disrupting our marriage in order to pivot romantically. 33:22 [LAUGH] Totally different frame, right? 33:26 It's all on how you frame it. 33:31 And in closing, I want you all to realize, [LAUGH] you're family is an obstacle. 33:33 All right? 33:40 You need to be at the office. 33:41 Can't have these hangers on telling you what to do all the time. 33:43 You need to be working, and I'd like to show you something that my son drew. 33:48 It's a family tree. 33:53 As you can see, he drew his mom. 33:55 Then he drew himself crying tears. 33:59 And he drew me as a laptop. 34:02 [LAUGH] And I can't tell you how proud this makes me. 34:04 [LAUGH] Especially because my son is 19 years old. 34:10 [LAUGH] Thank you very much, guys, I appreciate it. 34:16 [APPLAUSE] We may, we may have time for some Q&A I'm not sure. 34:21 >> Does anyone have any questions? 34:29 I mean, I think there are so many questions. 34:30 But do any of you have any questions about Matt's presentation. 34:32 Oh, come on, no one? 34:38 Fair enough. 34:40 Here we go. 34:40 >> Where does your son take his art lessons? 34:41 >> He went to Rizdy and now he's a UI designer at Facebook. 34:48 I'm really proud of him, really proud of him. 34:55 Any other questions? 34:58 [BLANK_AUDIO]. 34:59 >> What's the best way to assess the value of your startup? 35:08 >> The best way to assess the value of a startup, is how 35:11 many posts there have been about it on TechCrunch, because that's the real key. 35:15 I think, I think really the name dropping you 35:20 can do about the VC firms that you've met with, 35:24 the amount that you've raised, and then the number 35:27 of posts on TechCrunch about you are really the keys. 35:30 A lot of people make the mistake of looking at revenue. 35:33 And I strongly advise against that, cuz it'll really depress you. 35:36 Any other questions? 35:42 >> Where do you stand up? 35:46 >> Interesting you mention that. 35:48 I live in New York City and I, I sometimes have a side gig as a stand up comedian. 35:51 You can see perform there, if you >> Which, which clubs? 35:56 >> Caroline's, I have a weekly show at a place called Irish Exit in Midtown. 36:01 If you follow my personal Twitter account @MattRuby, 36:06 I post shows that I'm doing there or you 36:10 can just send me an email at that address and I'll let you know where I'm at. 36:11 And, I tour around and do shows in other cities as well. 36:16 Or if any of you wanna have me do this sort of presentation 36:19 at your company or conference or event [CROSSTALK] you know what it's like. 36:22 [LAUGH] Anyone else. 36:27 Any other questions? 36:30 >> I've got one for you Matt. 36:34 >> Yes. 36:35 >> How do you know when it's time to quit your job. 36:35 And start an entirely new career. 36:39 >> Probably when you're willing to wear that outfit. 36:44 [LAUGH] It's probably, it's probably the key time. 36:46 All right you [APPLAUSE]. 36:49 I, I look at the way you're dressed 36:55 and like, this guy's willing to disrupt some things. 36:56 He's a, he's a fashion innovator. 37:00 >> I I disrupted my own sense of well 37:03 being if [LAUGH] you believe it, towards continued deployment. 37:05 >> I'm impressed by it. 37:10 >> And other questions from the crowd? 37:12 No, in that case let's put our hands together for Matt. 37:15 Thank you. 37:17 >> Thank you very much. 37:17 >> [APPLAUSE] Thanks a lot. 37:18 >> Appreciate it. 37:22
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