1 00:00:07,327 --> 00:00:08,726 All right. Hey, everyone. 2 00:00:08,726 --> 00:00:13,475 Gill here and now like to introduce Lexi Burton-Brown. 3 00:00:13,475 --> 00:00:17,050 Lexi is currently located in Decatur, Georgia. 4 00:00:17,050 --> 00:00:21,706 And today she starts a new Job as a Senior Quality engineering Manager at 5 00:00:21,706 --> 00:00:23,120 Better Cloud. 6 00:00:23,120 --> 00:00:26,888 And prior to that, Lexi was at Mail Chimp for almost ten years. 7 00:00:26,888 --> 00:00:29,875 She is an avid reader, puzzler and bowler. 8 00:00:29,875 --> 00:00:34,215 She's incredibly passionate about management, leadership and advocacy. 9 00:00:34,215 --> 00:00:35,465 Everyone please welcome, Lexi. 10 00:00:36,985 --> 00:00:40,896 >> So, talking about myself is super awkward, so thank you for 11 00:00:40,896 --> 00:00:42,855 that introduction. 12 00:00:42,855 --> 00:00:45,865 Two additional things that I want to note. 13 00:00:45,865 --> 00:00:47,939 I have a kitty named Bella, 14 00:00:47,939 --> 00:00:52,455 who is actually being very chill right next to me right now. 15 00:00:52,455 --> 00:00:54,260 So maybe she won't make an appearance. 16 00:00:54,260 --> 00:00:55,048 She may. 17 00:00:55,048 --> 00:00:58,490 And I do not love slides. 18 00:00:58,490 --> 00:01:00,770 I did make some, but we don't have the time. 19 00:01:00,770 --> 00:01:03,572 But I do want to have a really good conversation, so 20 00:01:03,572 --> 00:01:06,500 they're there to kinda help guide that. 21 00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:08,060 So, we'll get started. 22 00:01:10,420 --> 00:01:11,990 And some fun facts about myself. 23 00:01:11,990 --> 00:01:13,710 I'm a huge insecure fan. 24 00:01:13,710 --> 00:01:16,850 So you will see a lot of insecure gifts here. 25 00:01:16,850 --> 00:01:17,940 I love to read. 26 00:01:17,940 --> 00:01:19,880 My background is real. 27 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:27,410 I have a very, very short attention span and I cannot sit through a movie. 28 00:01:27,410 --> 00:01:29,680 Yes, Isa Ray fans, great. 29 00:01:29,680 --> 00:01:36,120 And I choose my travel destinations based on the food. 30 00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:36,643 I love food. 31 00:01:36,643 --> 00:01:40,320 We're gonna talk about that some too, cool. 32 00:01:40,320 --> 00:01:45,329 So, as a manager, it's really important to remember that my direct reports and 33 00:01:45,329 --> 00:01:47,329 even my colleagues are people. 34 00:01:47,329 --> 00:01:50,328 It's especially important to remember that sometimes, and 35 00:01:50,328 --> 00:01:54,433 it's also sometimes difficult to remember this because we're working from home. 36 00:01:54,433 --> 00:01:57,950 But life can spill over into work and that is okay. 37 00:01:57,950 --> 00:02:03,550 Being real reminds those around us that we're human and we're doing our best. 38 00:02:03,550 --> 00:02:07,501 So, today we're gonna talk about who our authentic selves are. 39 00:02:07,501 --> 00:02:12,390 What it means to show up and bring our authentic selves to work. 40 00:02:12,390 --> 00:02:14,410 How to show up authentically. 41 00:02:14,410 --> 00:02:17,846 What can change or affect how we show up at work. 42 00:02:17,846 --> 00:02:20,731 Why it matters to show up authentically and 43 00:02:20,731 --> 00:02:25,070 then also balancing that authenticity with professionalism. 44 00:02:28,120 --> 00:02:33,330 Issa, so, we're gonna start by talking about who our authentic selves are. 45 00:02:33,330 --> 00:02:38,318 Outside of work, at the most basic level, to be our most authentic self, 46 00:02:38,318 --> 00:02:41,570 I think it means that we have to be self-aware. 47 00:02:41,570 --> 00:02:45,378 It's important for us to recognize and play into our strings, but 48 00:02:45,378 --> 00:02:48,510 also know where our areas of improvement are. 49 00:02:48,510 --> 00:02:53,260 Don't hide from the things that you aren't good at and don't over compensate. 50 00:02:53,260 --> 00:02:57,390 Knowing your limits and when to ask for help is so important. 51 00:02:57,390 --> 00:03:00,974 It gives us the space and opportunity to collaborate with our peers and 52 00:03:00,974 --> 00:03:02,670 to continue learning. 53 00:03:02,670 --> 00:03:07,360 Even more important, is not being hard on ourselves for having those limitations. 54 00:03:07,360 --> 00:03:13,042 We're human and cannot possibly know or do everything and that's okay. 55 00:03:13,042 --> 00:03:16,677 Number two, showing up when you're uncomfortable or afraid. 56 00:03:16,677 --> 00:03:19,703 When you're nervous or scared about making a move, 57 00:03:19,703 --> 00:03:23,190 that move is probably gonna challenge you in the best way. 58 00:03:23,190 --> 00:03:26,094 I found myself in meetings where I've had ideas or 59 00:03:26,094 --> 00:03:28,376 I wanna contribute to the discussion, 60 00:03:28,376 --> 00:03:33,410 but getting nervous about my ideas being shut down or people not liking them. 61 00:03:33,410 --> 00:03:36,966 Instead of sitting quietly in the corner, which my brain tells me to do, 62 00:03:36,966 --> 00:03:39,970 I pushed myself to talk through what I'm thinking. 63 00:03:39,970 --> 00:03:44,696 That doesn't mean I'll always succeed on my first try or even at all, but 64 00:03:44,696 --> 00:03:47,600 I'll grow and learn through that process. 65 00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:52,168 And that's really what life is about and how you continue becoming your best and 66 00:03:52,168 --> 00:03:57,674 most true self Number three, trusting yourself. 67 00:03:57,674 --> 00:03:59,310 Go with your gut. 68 00:03:59,310 --> 00:04:03,900 If you're a spades player, you've probably heard the term think long, think long. 69 00:04:03,900 --> 00:04:06,690 It sounds so cliché, but it's so true. 70 00:04:06,690 --> 00:04:11,730 Sometimes we over think and doubt ourselves, think but then take action. 71 00:04:11,730 --> 00:04:15,276 And even when you don't have the answers because you'll never have them all, 72 00:04:15,276 --> 00:04:18,410 you'll have the ability to draw conclusions worth exploring. 73 00:04:18,410 --> 00:04:20,648 Imposter syndrome plays into this really heavy and 74 00:04:20,648 --> 00:04:22,530 we're gonna get into that in a little bit. 75 00:04:24,550 --> 00:04:29,970 And number four, knowing, staying true to and living in your purpose. 76 00:04:29,970 --> 00:04:32,900 Once you find your purpose, stay true to it. 77 00:04:32,900 --> 00:04:36,507 Straying from that is when we get into the territory of becoming or 78 00:04:36,507 --> 00:04:38,736 doing what others want us to do or be, and 79 00:04:38,736 --> 00:04:43,400 that is quite literally the opposite of being our most authentic selves. 80 00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:46,310 I also have a dog and she is being kind of loud. 81 00:04:46,310 --> 00:04:49,972 I don't know if you guys can hear her. 82 00:04:49,972 --> 00:04:52,743 [LAUGH] Until it happens right, 83 00:04:52,743 --> 00:04:57,970 sometimes we do stray from being our most authentic self. 84 00:04:57,970 --> 00:05:01,451 But I think what's important is to catch ourselves and 85 00:05:01,451 --> 00:05:06,459 steer back on to what we're passionate about and remaining true to who we are. 86 00:05:09,915 --> 00:05:15,050 Companies are always saying, bring your most authentic self to work. 87 00:05:15,050 --> 00:05:17,200 But what does that even mean? 88 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:21,011 Since we talked some about what goes into being our authentic selves, 89 00:05:21,011 --> 00:05:25,285 let's talk about what showing up authentically means, especially at work. 90 00:05:25,285 --> 00:05:26,831 And I wanna be very clear, 91 00:05:26,831 --> 00:05:30,627 I am not suggesting that who you are with your friends at the bar, 92 00:05:30,627 --> 00:05:34,724 on the weekend after a long work week, is how you just show up at work. 93 00:05:34,724 --> 00:05:37,670 If I did that, I would probably get fired. 94 00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:41,960 I am suggesting that who you are fundamentally, the life experiences that 95 00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:46,500 have brought you to where you are right now, do shape your perspective. 96 00:05:46,500 --> 00:05:49,482 It shapes what you're passionate about, how you problem solve, 97 00:05:49,482 --> 00:05:52,980 your critical thinking skills, and that is incredibly valuable. 98 00:05:52,980 --> 00:05:56,915 It's important to know who you are and to be comfortable in that and 99 00:05:56,915 --> 00:06:00,230 remember that there is no mold that you need to fit into. 100 00:06:00,230 --> 00:06:04,890 That can also mean when the world is unpleasant, you show up differently. 101 00:06:04,890 --> 00:06:07,580 You may not be as productive as you normally are or 102 00:06:07,580 --> 00:06:09,980 a small talk before a meeting changes. 103 00:06:09,980 --> 00:06:13,190 Maybe you're not as social and that's okay too. 104 00:06:13,190 --> 00:06:13,840 Quick story. 105 00:06:14,840 --> 00:06:18,400 I've been in management for about four and a half, five years and 106 00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:21,506 2020 was the most interesting, most challenging, 107 00:06:21,506 --> 00:06:25,320 and also most rewarding year for me in my management career. 108 00:06:25,320 --> 00:06:28,706 While I had been working to figure out what showing up as my authentic self at 109 00:06:28,706 --> 00:06:29,670 work meant. 110 00:06:29,670 --> 00:06:33,727 That wasn't necessarily a conversation I'd had in depth with my team or 111 00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:36,130 anyone that had reported to me. 112 00:06:36,130 --> 00:06:37,530 But this year was different, right? 113 00:06:37,530 --> 00:06:41,250 I'm a black woman and the summer of 2020 hit me really hard. 114 00:06:41,250 --> 00:06:46,210 I had to readjust what it meant to be productive for myself, recognizing that 115 00:06:46,210 --> 00:06:51,870 that trauma in the world did affect me, my mood and what I thought was important. 116 00:06:51,870 --> 00:06:53,272 What also occurred to me, 117 00:06:53,272 --> 00:06:56,413 is that my reports were experiencing something similar. 118 00:06:56,413 --> 00:06:59,464 So we started having conversations about who we are at work. 119 00:07:02,363 --> 00:07:05,770 So how, how do you show up authentically? 120 00:07:05,770 --> 00:07:07,970 Let's dive in to some ways that we can show up. 121 00:07:09,250 --> 00:07:11,857 This can be as simple as what you wear to work. 122 00:07:11,857 --> 00:07:15,022 Most tech spaces are pretty locked with dress code. 123 00:07:15,022 --> 00:07:19,130 So if you're not a chinos and buttoned down kind of person, don't wear it. 124 00:07:19,130 --> 00:07:22,762 You feel most confident in what you're comfortable in skirts, 125 00:07:22,762 --> 00:07:27,144 T-shirts and chucks are my favorite uniform at work and in my personal life. 126 00:07:27,144 --> 00:07:28,773 So that's generally what I wear. 127 00:07:28,773 --> 00:07:30,420 But I was also pre-pandemic. 128 00:07:30,420 --> 00:07:32,300 Now I mostly wear sweatpants. 129 00:07:32,300 --> 00:07:33,630 I put on a real shirt for you guys today. 130 00:07:35,070 --> 00:07:40,430 A more complex and layered way of how we show up at work, is code switching. 131 00:07:40,430 --> 00:07:45,690 For anyone not familiar, code switching is essentially altering the way you speak or 132 00:07:45,690 --> 00:07:51,180 express yourself to sound or be more culturally aligned with those around you. 133 00:07:51,180 --> 00:07:54,624 After surface, code switching sounds helpful, relatable and 134 00:07:54,624 --> 00:07:56,864 like an excellent communication skill. 135 00:07:56,864 --> 00:08:00,548 But digging a little deeper when you think about what spaces people 136 00:08:00,548 --> 00:08:04,096 are expected to code switch, or who is expected to code switch, 137 00:08:04,096 --> 00:08:06,670 there are some more complex layers there. 138 00:08:06,670 --> 00:08:11,589 We won't necessarily get into all of that, but know that this happens a ton in tech 139 00:08:11,589 --> 00:08:14,460 spaces, and especially from people of color. 140 00:08:15,630 --> 00:08:17,230 So why do we code switch? 141 00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:18,300 There's this fear, right? 142 00:08:18,300 --> 00:08:20,580 I'm not sounding as smart or 143 00:08:20,580 --> 00:08:26,290 that we have to say things in a certain way to be heard or respected. 144 00:08:26,290 --> 00:08:29,180 We feel like we have to match the vernacular of our colleagues in 145 00:08:29,180 --> 00:08:30,530 order to fit in. 146 00:08:30,530 --> 00:08:34,360 We've been bred since childhood to show up in a certain way. 147 00:08:34,360 --> 00:08:37,230 And sometimes I have to check myself on this one. 148 00:08:37,230 --> 00:08:40,447 What I like to remind myself is that, you know what you're talking about, 149 00:08:40,447 --> 00:08:44,090 you know how to communicate, and you don't have to change how you say those things. 150 00:08:45,250 --> 00:08:49,012 Like I said, code switching can also be changing how you express yourself to be 151 00:08:49,012 --> 00:08:51,820 more culturally aligned with those around you. 152 00:08:51,820 --> 00:08:55,637 That can look like hiding parts of yourself because it doesn't fit company 153 00:08:55,637 --> 00:08:56,740 culture. 154 00:08:56,740 --> 00:08:58,192 And let me tell you, 155 00:08:58,192 --> 00:09:03,507 company culture is probably my least favorite way to describe anything. 156 00:09:03,507 --> 00:09:07,631 Generally speaking, company culture, intentional or not, 157 00:09:07,631 --> 00:09:10,276 desn't allow for additions, growth or 158 00:09:10,276 --> 00:09:14,726 anything different from the way things exist currently to thrive. 159 00:09:14,726 --> 00:09:18,230 Which can lead people who don't fit that molding, feeling excluded. 160 00:09:19,290 --> 00:09:21,108 When I started at my previous company, 161 00:09:21,108 --> 00:09:23,580 I had a really hard time relating to my peers. 162 00:09:23,580 --> 00:09:25,980 I didn't brew or drink craft beer. 163 00:09:25,980 --> 00:09:28,030 I wasn't into the video games. 164 00:09:28,030 --> 00:09:30,000 I didn't play Dungeons and Dragons. 165 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:32,190 I didn't really fit the mold. 166 00:09:32,190 --> 00:09:34,240 So I didn't feel like I had anything to contribute. 167 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:38,059 And it wasn't until later in my career there that I felt comfortable 168 00:09:38,059 --> 00:09:40,471 talking about things that interested me, 169 00:09:40,471 --> 00:09:44,504 even if it meant other people in the room did not have that same context. 170 00:09:44,504 --> 00:09:50,094 To show up authentically means to stop or really lessen how much we code switch. 171 00:09:50,094 --> 00:09:54,060 I say lesson because we're conditioned very early on to code switch and 172 00:09:54,060 --> 00:09:56,690 stopping can be really hard. 173 00:09:56,690 --> 00:10:00,270 I'm not saying that you should drop the F-bomb when you're annoyed in a meeting, 174 00:10:00,270 --> 00:10:03,648 but encourage yourself to speak as you would with colleagues that look like you 175 00:10:03,648 --> 00:10:05,370 or have the same interest as you. 176 00:10:05,370 --> 00:10:10,150 But do that in a more open space with more people. 177 00:10:10,150 --> 00:10:13,580 The more you consciously do it, the more natural it will become. 178 00:10:13,580 --> 00:10:16,986 And again, we're humans and we're conditioned to show up in specific ways. 179 00:10:16,986 --> 00:10:21,035 So be kind to yourself if you find yourself falling back into old habits 180 00:10:24,568 --> 00:10:27,031 So what can affect how you show up at work? 181 00:10:28,821 --> 00:10:32,689 There are a ton of things that can shift how you feel day-to-day, and it's so 182 00:10:32,689 --> 00:10:37,140 important to control the things you can, and leave space inflexibility. 183 00:10:37,140 --> 00:10:41,181 A huge contributing factor to not showing up as our authentic self is imposter 184 00:10:41,181 --> 00:10:42,480 syndrome. 185 00:10:42,480 --> 00:10:46,939 We hear the term a lot but quickly imposter syndrome is defined as 186 00:10:46,939 --> 00:10:52,440 feelings of inadequacy that persist despite evidence of success. 187 00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:55,968 People dealing with imposter syndrome will experience self doubt or 188 00:10:55,968 --> 00:10:59,500 incompetence despite documented successes and wins. 189 00:10:59,500 --> 00:11:01,580 And I see this a lot as a manager. 190 00:11:01,580 --> 00:11:04,235 You see what your peers or your colleagues present and 191 00:11:04,235 --> 00:11:08,520 internalize any differences you have with them as deficits in yourself. 192 00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:12,540 That turns into feeling of not deserving or not being qualified. 193 00:11:12,540 --> 00:11:16,490 When we don't feel like enough, we tend to show up less as our best self and 194 00:11:16,490 --> 00:11:19,360 don't perform at our highest potential. 195 00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:23,465 It's easier said than done, but you can't internalize those differences. 196 00:11:26,835 --> 00:11:31,539 A lot of showing up authentically is confidence in ourselves and our abilities, 197 00:11:31,539 --> 00:11:35,828 and a lot of redirecting ourselves on our true path is reminding ourselves 198 00:11:35,828 --> 00:11:40,142 of how much of a badass we are, and I hope that I can say that also I'm here. 199 00:11:40,142 --> 00:11:44,107 Your emotional capacity and mental capacity can mean a lot of things and 200 00:11:44,107 --> 00:11:45,260 can change. 201 00:11:45,260 --> 00:11:47,991 When I first talked about the summer of 2020 hitting me hard, 202 00:11:47,991 --> 00:11:49,620 this is exactly what I meant. 203 00:11:49,620 --> 00:11:53,040 Between the pandemic and social injustices happening in my community. 204 00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:56,514 It was hard for me to show up as my usual Jolly self. 205 00:11:56,514 --> 00:12:01,320 It was hard to have the bandwidth or small talk when I joined a Zoom call earlier. 206 00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:05,483 And I always felt that I had to put on to not let what was happening in 207 00:12:05,483 --> 00:12:09,220 the world get to me at work or change how I showed up at work. 208 00:12:11,882 --> 00:12:14,259 I'm like getting so distracted reading these comments. 209 00:12:14,259 --> 00:12:16,320 I should stop doing that. 210 00:12:18,290 --> 00:12:19,760 But that's not realistic, right? 211 00:12:19,760 --> 00:12:23,168 Not letting the world affect you is not realistic, and 212 00:12:23,168 --> 00:12:26,470 you'll drain yourself trying to pretend. 213 00:12:26,470 --> 00:12:29,642 Instead, I practice vulnerability with my team. 214 00:12:29,642 --> 00:12:34,130 I would check in with other leaders on my team and my reports, letting them know 215 00:12:34,130 --> 00:12:38,892 hey, the world is on fire right now, and that's normal if your mind is elsewhere. 216 00:12:38,892 --> 00:12:42,447 Let's refocus and rethink about what productivity looks like and 217 00:12:42,447 --> 00:12:45,960 how to better structure your day to protect your peace. 218 00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:49,265 This definitely doesn't mean you get to clock in and not do anything for 219 00:12:49,265 --> 00:12:50,445 eight hours. 220 00:12:50,445 --> 00:12:56,165 More about what do you mean to perform at your best self given the circumstances. 221 00:12:56,165 --> 00:12:57,845 Fewer meetings, okay, cool. 222 00:12:57,845 --> 00:12:59,345 Let's connect on Slack. 223 00:12:59,345 --> 00:13:01,725 Need to be heads down and crank through some work? 224 00:13:01,725 --> 00:13:04,825 Cool, let's rework your schedule to make that happen. 225 00:13:04,825 --> 00:13:09,072 Don't feel ashamed if you need time and space, take it. 226 00:13:09,072 --> 00:13:10,860 I'm gonna share an example. 227 00:13:10,860 --> 00:13:13,905 Earlier this year one of my direct reports was looking for 228 00:13:13,905 --> 00:13:17,560 a new place to live while nearing the end of her pregnancy. 229 00:13:17,560 --> 00:13:22,102 On top of that her team had a lot going on with a lack of clear direction and 230 00:13:22,102 --> 00:13:23,495 action items. 231 00:13:23,495 --> 00:13:24,749 We joined a one on one, 232 00:13:24,749 --> 00:13:29,585 and it caught me very off guard because she was in tears and so overwhelmed. 233 00:13:29,585 --> 00:13:33,685 Her team had always sort of function this way and she was generally fine. 234 00:13:33,685 --> 00:13:38,195 But with two life events happening at the same time, it was a lot to handle. 235 00:13:38,195 --> 00:13:40,934 She wasn't participating in meetings the way she had been, 236 00:13:40,934 --> 00:13:43,875 didn't feel like she was being as productive as usual. 237 00:13:43,875 --> 00:13:45,760 So we sat down and made a game plan. 238 00:13:45,760 --> 00:13:49,560 Okay, here's how you talk to the stakeholders on your team and share with 239 00:13:49,560 --> 00:13:53,990 them your expectations in order to do your job efficiently and effectively. 240 00:13:53,990 --> 00:13:57,230 Tell them the information or documentation you need. 241 00:13:57,230 --> 00:14:00,440 Next we talked about how to prioritize the work she did have. 242 00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:02,030 What's due immediately? 243 00:14:02,030 --> 00:14:05,628 What's waiting on another team member to complete before you can tackle it? 244 00:14:05,628 --> 00:14:07,510 What isn't important or urgent? 245 00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:11,080 And that's how she built her to-do list. 246 00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:13,700 Next, let's figure out how to structure your day. 247 00:14:13,700 --> 00:14:16,184 What meetings do you really need to attend? 248 00:14:16,184 --> 00:14:20,370 Which ones have notes or are recorded so you can watch it later? 249 00:14:20,370 --> 00:14:24,475 What's the meeting that you've really only attended because you've always done that, 250 00:14:24,475 --> 00:14:28,020 but it doesn't actually bring any value to your day or to your work? 251 00:14:28,020 --> 00:14:29,820 Stop going to those. 252 00:14:29,820 --> 00:14:34,373 Your mental and emotional space can affect if you contribute in a meeting and 253 00:14:34,373 --> 00:14:38,302 the pace at which you work, your feelings around productivity. 254 00:14:38,302 --> 00:14:41,863 But showing up authentically is owning that instead of hiding it and 255 00:14:41,863 --> 00:14:43,400 working around it. 256 00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:46,070 And as I said, here is Bella right on cue. 257 00:14:47,810 --> 00:14:51,948 Lastly, I wanna talk about psychological safety at work, 258 00:14:51,948 --> 00:14:53,780 which is kind of in my way. 259 00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:59,468 Psychological safety is the belief that you won't be punished or humiliated for 260 00:14:59,468 --> 00:15:00,860 speaking up. 261 00:15:00,860 --> 00:15:03,492 Lacking psychological safety can definitely 262 00:15:03,492 --> 00:15:07,278 affect how comfortable you are showing up as your authentic self. 263 00:15:07,278 --> 00:15:07,902 For example, 264 00:15:07,902 --> 00:15:11,655 we've talked through some of these ways that you can show up authentically, right? 265 00:15:11,655 --> 00:15:13,750 But what if your boss doesn't get it? 266 00:15:13,750 --> 00:15:15,155 Or your team looks at you funny, or 267 00:15:15,155 --> 00:15:18,060 your company isn't structured in a way that supports that? 268 00:15:18,060 --> 00:15:21,450 My first piece of advice, would be to find a new job. 269 00:15:21,450 --> 00:15:23,600 But also while you're still there, 270 00:15:23,600 --> 00:15:28,760 dive into what's making you feel that threat and ways that you can address it. 271 00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:33,219 That can mean talking to your boss about the importance of psychological safety and 272 00:15:33,219 --> 00:15:35,266 creating an inclusive environment. 273 00:15:35,266 --> 00:15:38,037 Forbes has a really, really great article about this. 274 00:15:38,037 --> 00:15:42,215 I would recommend reading that, and that could be chatting with your peers 275 00:15:42,215 --> 00:15:45,520 on a more casual level and without code switching. 276 00:15:45,520 --> 00:15:48,911 Doing it outside of a meeting can sometimes disarm folks. 277 00:15:48,911 --> 00:15:52,575 When I started at my last company, I kept candy on my desk to encourage people to 278 00:15:52,575 --> 00:15:56,110 talk to me that you can't take candy from me and not speak to me. 279 00:15:56,110 --> 00:15:58,565 And I use that opportunity to be myself and 280 00:15:58,565 --> 00:16:01,920 let them know me in a very disarming way. 281 00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:04,230 When you have psychological safety at work, 282 00:16:04,230 --> 00:16:06,796 you're more comfortable bringing your full self 283 00:16:14,022 --> 00:16:17,460 An important question is why does this even matter? 284 00:16:17,460 --> 00:16:20,952 Who cares if I can relate to my co-workers or if I show up authentically? 285 00:16:20,952 --> 00:16:23,030 One, your company should. 286 00:16:23,030 --> 00:16:26,799 Creating space for people to show up authentically is a huge step in developing 287 00:16:26,799 --> 00:16:28,630 an inclusive environment. 288 00:16:28,630 --> 00:16:32,049 When employees feel safe, and like they can be themselves, 289 00:16:32,049 --> 00:16:36,070 the ideas they come up with soar the investment they have in their work is 290 00:16:36,070 --> 00:16:38,906 unmatched and ultimately the product benefits. 291 00:16:38,906 --> 00:16:41,900 But most importantly, you should care. 292 00:16:41,900 --> 00:16:46,060 So much of our time is spent at work and hiding parts of ourselves, 293 00:16:46,060 --> 00:16:47,660 gets exhausting. 294 00:16:47,660 --> 00:16:52,360 It can foster resentment towards your work and can lead to burnout. 295 00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:56,134 On top of that, not showing up authentically means you're not being 296 00:16:56,134 --> 00:17:00,558 your best self or contributing your best ideas or living in your best potential, 297 00:17:00,558 --> 00:17:03,378 which let's be real can stunt your career growth. 298 00:17:06,788 --> 00:17:10,290 Remember that in life, we're all working towards being our most ideal. 299 00:17:10,290 --> 00:17:11,313 So our best self, 300 00:17:11,313 --> 00:17:16,600 showing up authentically doesn't mean you aren't still working towards that. 301 00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:20,010 It probably means you're working even harder at doing that. 302 00:17:20,010 --> 00:17:23,760 And it means that you get to decide what that looks like. 303 00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:27,504 You define who your ideal self is not a mold you're trying to or 304 00:17:27,504 --> 00:17:29,380 suppose to fit into. 305 00:17:29,380 --> 00:17:34,332 Showing up authentically also doesn't mean that you aren't gonna say the wrong thing, 306 00:17:34,332 --> 00:17:36,907 or half or timing and delivering a message, or 307 00:17:36,907 --> 00:17:39,050 that all your ideas are the best. 308 00:17:39,050 --> 00:17:42,783 But it does mean that you do so with the best intention. 309 00:17:42,783 --> 00:17:47,432 You learn, continue growing and continue showing up, creating space for 310 00:17:47,432 --> 00:17:48,850 yourself and others. 311 00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:54,768 So I've been saying, be yourself, be yourself and I mean it, but 312 00:17:54,768 --> 00:17:57,133 we should also talk about some boundaries at work and 313 00:17:57,133 --> 00:17:59,520 how to balance professionalism and authenticity. 314 00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:05,250 I'm talking about conversations that we should probably stay away from. 315 00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:09,380 Your party habits, should not talk about that at work. 316 00:18:09,380 --> 00:18:12,850 Save that for your friends, but your favorite restaurants or 317 00:18:12,850 --> 00:18:14,650 bars are probably okay. 318 00:18:14,650 --> 00:18:17,240 I'm a foodie and almost all I talk about is food. 319 00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:20,814 So I absolutely want to know where your favorite dive bar is with the best 320 00:18:20,814 --> 00:18:22,230 mozzarella sticks. 321 00:18:22,230 --> 00:18:25,000 But I don't need to know how much you drink on Thursday night. 322 00:18:26,450 --> 00:18:28,690 Don't get too personal with a large crowd. 323 00:18:28,690 --> 00:18:31,849 While you wanna be yourself, your colleagues are just that. 324 00:18:31,849 --> 00:18:33,684 They're colleagues and more times than not, 325 00:18:33,684 --> 00:18:36,520 they're not the folks that you're gonna hang out with on the weekend. 326 00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:38,930 So be cautious about the information that you're sharing. 327 00:18:40,020 --> 00:18:43,650 Most people would say, stay away from politics. 328 00:18:43,650 --> 00:18:46,777 I agree with that to some extent, but I think that the social and 329 00:18:46,777 --> 00:18:50,980 political climate affects us more than we have previously acknowledged. 330 00:18:50,980 --> 00:18:54,246 Definitely not a great idea to talk about who you voted for or 331 00:18:54,246 --> 00:18:59,030 shaming others about who they voted for, especially in public spaces, be cautious. 332 00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:03,727 Or really maybe stay away from who you voted for, and 333 00:19:03,727 --> 00:19:06,770 who asking other people who they voted for. 334 00:19:06,770 --> 00:19:09,730 It is important to think about what you're saying. 335 00:19:09,730 --> 00:19:13,041 And if something can offend someone, this is still a workplace and 336 00:19:13,041 --> 00:19:16,790 you'll have to see these people people day in and day out. 337 00:19:16,790 --> 00:19:19,510 Talking about politicians is not a good look, but 338 00:19:19,510 --> 00:19:23,010 talking about how policies can affect your life specifically, 339 00:19:23,010 --> 00:19:26,660 or what you're experiencing can happen in small and safe spaces. 340 00:19:28,450 --> 00:19:33,364 And really just a good thumb, a rule of thumb is if it feels icky, 341 00:19:33,364 --> 00:19:34,828 stay away from it. 342 00:19:34,828 --> 00:19:38,350 Behaviors to avoid, inappropriate jokes. 343 00:19:38,350 --> 00:19:42,120 I cannot tell you how many times someone has made an offensive joke in a meeting 344 00:19:42,120 --> 00:19:45,194 and when called out their response is always something like but 345 00:19:45,194 --> 00:19:47,790 I told that joke to my friend, why not? 346 00:19:47,790 --> 00:19:49,540 No, this is work, right? 347 00:19:49,540 --> 00:19:52,390 We can be amicable together, right and work together, but 348 00:19:52,390 --> 00:19:55,981 that doesn't mean that all of the things that you would talk about with your 349 00:19:55,981 --> 00:19:58,620 friends should be talked about with your colleagues. 350 00:20:01,100 --> 00:20:06,080 And more importantly, ways to show up and showcase your personality and shine. 351 00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:09,868 Opening up about how life experiences have brought you to where you are or 352 00:20:09,868 --> 00:20:13,533 why you're passionate about specific things is a great way to let your 353 00:20:13,533 --> 00:20:15,580 colleagues get to know you. 354 00:20:15,580 --> 00:20:17,890 And to continue showing up authentically, right? 355 00:20:17,890 --> 00:20:23,161 Because who you are and what you're passionate about shapes the way that you 356 00:20:23,161 --> 00:20:28,860 show up and shapes how you problem solve or solve problems, or think critically. 357 00:20:30,930 --> 00:20:37,114 Sharing that information can be really helpful with your colleagues. 358 00:20:37,114 --> 00:20:40,531 The bottom line is be yourself and be proud of who you are, but 359 00:20:40,531 --> 00:20:43,350 remember, your office is not your college quad. 360 00:20:43,350 --> 00:20:47,004 I want to leave you with a couple of questions to think about. 361 00:20:47,004 --> 00:20:52,636 You might not have the answers to them right now, and that's normal, 362 00:20:52,636 --> 00:20:58,380 but think about it and let that help form how you show up moving forward. 363 00:20:59,730 --> 00:21:02,770 How do you define authenticity for yourself? 364 00:21:02,770 --> 00:21:05,590 What does your authentic self looks like? 365 00:21:05,590 --> 00:21:08,710 And how do you continue bringing that person forward? 366 00:21:10,350 --> 00:21:13,440 What is currently preventing you from showing up authentically at work? 367 00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:19,437 Is it your peers, your boss, not knowing that you should or can? 368 00:21:19,437 --> 00:21:22,933 Figure out what that looks like for you also. 369 00:21:22,933 --> 00:21:27,230 And what do you need to shed in order to show up more authentically? 370 00:21:29,150 --> 00:21:32,085 The moment you stop trying to be who everyone else or 371 00:21:32,085 --> 00:21:36,862 what everyone else wants you to be, the sooner you'll watch your career take off, 372 00:21:36,862 --> 00:21:38,773 your mental head space changes, 373 00:21:38,773 --> 00:21:43,508 and the way that you're fulfilled in the things that you do at work sort of shifts. 374 00:21:45,434 --> 00:21:47,931 Ooh, I ran through that really quickly. 375 00:21:47,931 --> 00:21:52,640 [LAUGH] So, do you guys have any questions? 376 00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:54,670 Want to talk through anything? 377 00:21:56,300 --> 00:22:01,154 I do see Patricia say that one thing she dislikes is people at work asking to 378 00:22:01,154 --> 00:22:05,000 touch her hair and authentically telling them no. 379 00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:06,402 Yeah, things like that, right? 380 00:22:06,402 --> 00:22:09,622 Being able to have those conversations with people and 381 00:22:09,622 --> 00:22:13,967 not feel that you have to say like, okay, yes, because you're at work. 382 00:22:38,478 --> 00:22:42,367 As you see it, talking about code switching versus being your own self is 383 00:22:42,367 --> 00:22:46,280 kind of an oxymoron and kind of tricky, I struggle finding the balance. 384 00:22:47,420 --> 00:22:48,760 I think that's the point, right? 385 00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:54,900 Code switching is totally the opposite of being your authentic self. 386 00:22:54,900 --> 00:22:58,562 So we should not code switch as much, right? 387 00:22:58,562 --> 00:23:04,850 And I know that it's hard because people tell us that we have to speak a certain 388 00:23:04,850 --> 00:23:11,170 way or present ourselves a certain way in order to be respected or to be heard. 389 00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:16,008 We should be like we are sitting at the same table or 390 00:23:16,008 --> 00:23:18,640 should be sitting at the same table. 391 00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:24,646 And I think once you find that confidence in showing up authentically and 392 00:23:24,646 --> 00:23:27,797 being your full and true self at work, 393 00:23:27,797 --> 00:23:33,029 that pressure of code-switching sort of dwindles away a bit. 394 00:24:16,528 --> 00:24:21,179 Any other questions or thoughts that you wanna talk about? 395 00:24:33,554 --> 00:24:36,040 Best food in life? 396 00:24:37,670 --> 00:24:38,446 Oof! 397 00:24:42,876 --> 00:24:45,135 That is really tough. 398 00:24:45,135 --> 00:24:50,061 My current obsession is brisket grilled cheese 399 00:24:50,061 --> 00:24:55,490 sandwich from this barbecue place that's nearby. 400 00:24:58,090 --> 00:25:01,650 It's currently my favorite thing ever. 401 00:25:01,650 --> 00:25:07,890 I did just get back from Mexico and we did this, it's called the travelers table. 402 00:25:07,890 --> 00:25:13,454 And they sort of do a history lesson through food in this part of Mexico that 403 00:25:13,454 --> 00:25:19,647 I was in until the five course meal and it started with like ancient Mayan people and 404 00:25:19,647 --> 00:25:24,313 like food that they use, ingredients that were in this part of 405 00:25:24,313 --> 00:25:28,740 Mexico at the time, and then brought it up to present day. 406 00:25:28,740 --> 00:25:30,448 So I think that was, probably, 407 00:25:30,448 --> 00:25:33,307 maybe my best food from somewhere that I've traveled 408 00:25:45,848 --> 00:25:49,120 I'm glad you guys enjoyed our chat. 409 00:25:52,056 --> 00:25:56,550 You don't know if it's good or bad, but there's no questions. 410 00:25:56,550 --> 00:26:05,055 [LAUGH] Some additional topics or additional resources? 411 00:26:05,055 --> 00:26:05,880 For sure. 412 00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:10,902 I think psychological safety is a huge one, to be able to help 413 00:26:10,902 --> 00:26:17,580 other people show up authentically and like give them spaces to do that. 414 00:26:17,580 --> 00:26:26,743 Forbes has a really great article, Which I will share here, 415 00:26:33,388 --> 00:26:37,400 About promoting psychological safety at work. 416 00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:38,863 So that's really great. 417 00:26:43,782 --> 00:26:47,442 How do you coach your team to show up authentically now that the pandemic is 418 00:26:47,442 --> 00:26:48,150 subsiding? 419 00:26:48,150 --> 00:26:50,910 Is there a pressure to go back to normal? 420 00:26:50,910 --> 00:26:56,910 I think the pandemic has sort of shifted what normal is and 421 00:26:56,910 --> 00:27:01,910 given us this sort of all around grace, right? 422 00:27:01,910 --> 00:27:04,823 Because when the pandemic first started and 423 00:27:04,823 --> 00:27:09,940 everyone was first working from home, I think that was like the most pressure 424 00:27:09,940 --> 00:27:15,214 to figure out this balance between how do I prove I'm still being productive but 425 00:27:15,214 --> 00:27:18,931 also trying to figure out what's happening in my life. 426 00:27:18,931 --> 00:27:25,394 And I think that shifted what productivity really looks like. 427 00:27:25,394 --> 00:27:29,822 I think before it was, be at your computer for six hours out of the day, and 428 00:27:29,822 --> 00:27:34,570 make sure that you're communicating with everyone constantly. 429 00:27:34,570 --> 00:27:36,440 But that's not necessarily true, right? 430 00:27:37,530 --> 00:27:42,092 You can take more time to yourself, and I think working from home 431 00:27:42,092 --> 00:27:47,180 has helped us find pockets of time to really focus and dive in. 432 00:27:47,180 --> 00:27:50,010 So I think that our new normal looks 433 00:27:50,010 --> 00:27:54,310 different with how to relate productivity to that. 434 00:27:56,250 --> 00:28:01,599 When I talk to my team about showing up authentically, 435 00:28:01,599 --> 00:28:09,840 I don't think that necessarily just means how you present online, right? 436 00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:13,681 And because we have been home for the last year and a half, 437 00:28:13,681 --> 00:28:16,336 a lot of how you show up has been online. 438 00:28:16,336 --> 00:28:20,456 But a lot of that stuff still translates to how you 439 00:28:20,456 --> 00:28:24,285 work in the office when, maybe even more so. 440 00:28:24,285 --> 00:28:28,580 I think it's easier to be yourself when you're at home and 441 00:28:28,580 --> 00:28:32,000 you're not being seen by people all day. 442 00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:35,610 So, feeling comfortable in what you wear and 443 00:28:35,610 --> 00:28:39,410 being in spaces that make you feel confident and 444 00:28:39,410 --> 00:28:43,782 comfortable is another way to show up authentically. 445 00:28:43,782 --> 00:28:45,510 Showing up in meetings, 446 00:28:45,510 --> 00:28:50,871 participating in meetings that can happen online virtually or in-person. 447 00:28:50,871 --> 00:28:57,490 Can you share an example of authenticity showing up as lack of professionalism? 448 00:28:59,090 --> 00:29:00,870 I was in a meeting. 449 00:29:03,460 --> 00:29:05,833 This was maybe a year and a half, two years ago. 450 00:29:13,070 --> 00:29:18,456 I was in this meeting with someone who I think they're a lovely human, 451 00:29:18,456 --> 00:29:23,476 but sort of the information that they were sharing in this meeting 452 00:29:23,476 --> 00:29:28,497 got a little too personal, and I would never want to say to someone 453 00:29:28,497 --> 00:29:35,012 like there are parts of yourself that you should hide because I don't believe that. 454 00:29:35,012 --> 00:29:43,600 I do think that there is a balance of what your coworkers should know about you. 455 00:29:43,600 --> 00:29:48,537 If you have illegal drug habits, maybe you don't share that with 456 00:29:48,537 --> 00:29:52,860 your coworkers in a meeting where bosses might be there. 457 00:29:52,860 --> 00:29:56,280 So I think those kind of conversations. 458 00:29:56,280 --> 00:30:01,156 Lack of professionalism, but I mean if that's where you are and that's what you 459 00:30:01,156 --> 00:30:05,620 do outside of work live your best life, but maybe don't broadcast that. 460 00:30:05,620 --> 00:30:09,340 If you would not want it documented somewhere, maybe you don't share it. 461 00:30:11,310 --> 00:30:15,901 Do you feel your authentic self needs to be balanced in any way with fitting in 462 00:30:20,193 --> 00:30:22,270 That's a tough one. 463 00:30:22,270 --> 00:30:29,230 I think that I don't know that I love the term fitting in. 464 00:30:29,230 --> 00:30:35,899 Because I think it implies that a newcomer has to adapt, not adapt. 465 00:30:37,100 --> 00:30:39,578 What's the word I'm looking for. 466 00:30:43,551 --> 00:30:45,725 >> Simile. 467 00:30:45,725 --> 00:30:48,980 >> A simile, thank you my wife is in the background. 468 00:30:48,980 --> 00:30:53,677 Fitting in with suggest that the newcomer needs to assimilate to what's 469 00:30:53,677 --> 00:30:56,988 happening around them and the group that is there, 470 00:30:56,988 --> 00:31:01,540 which I think is part of the issue with company culture, or that term. 471 00:31:03,620 --> 00:31:08,980 So I think instead of fitting in, it's more of how we're a company culture. 472 00:31:08,980 --> 00:31:11,590 How do I add to the culture here? 473 00:31:11,590 --> 00:31:13,896 How do I contribute to what's happening. 474 00:31:13,896 --> 00:31:20,979 And being yourself I think is what gives more people the space to be themselves and 475 00:31:20,979 --> 00:31:25,770 gives room for more people to have a seat at the table and 476 00:31:25,770 --> 00:31:31,410 more differences to be accepted and respected and recognized. 477 00:32:21,079 --> 00:32:25,401 How would you incorporate your authentic self to speak up when that someone is 478 00:32:25,401 --> 00:32:27,539 being deliberately disrespectful? 479 00:32:33,365 --> 00:32:39,191 I think it's important not to shy away from speaking out for yourself, right? 480 00:32:39,191 --> 00:32:43,967 And I'm also kind of curious if you mean like someone's being disrespectful 481 00:32:43,967 --> 00:32:48,531 to yourself or to others, but I guess in either way, it doesn't matter. 482 00:32:48,531 --> 00:32:53,049 If I can tell it somewhere do not do that in big meetings or 483 00:32:53,049 --> 00:32:57,759 in front of a lot of people cuz people will get defensive and 484 00:32:57,759 --> 00:33:01,727 then that can turn into a really nasty argument. 485 00:33:01,727 --> 00:33:04,710 Pull them aside, right, and have a conversation. 486 00:33:04,710 --> 00:33:08,710 These things that you said, this thing that you did you. 487 00:33:08,710 --> 00:33:14,620 This is how that came off to me and this is why that was offensive to me. 488 00:33:14,620 --> 00:33:19,295 When I think about someone being deliberately disrespectful to 489 00:33:19,295 --> 00:33:23,967 someone else, it's important to me to make sure the person that 490 00:33:23,967 --> 00:33:27,790 it is happening to is okay with me saying something. 491 00:33:28,880 --> 00:33:33,810 Some people aren't comfortable with that, right and are very conflict avoidant. 492 00:33:33,810 --> 00:33:37,927 And those saying something would to them feels like putting pressure on them and 493 00:33:37,927 --> 00:33:41,308 having them maybe having to have a conversation that they're not 494 00:33:41,308 --> 00:33:42,420 comfortable with. 495 00:33:42,420 --> 00:33:49,690 So I think it depends where that disrespect is being directed. 496 00:33:49,690 --> 00:33:54,892 And then having a conversation with that person about it. 497 00:34:00,040 --> 00:34:03,918 What's your take on taking a personal day when you're just not feeling it? 498 00:34:03,918 --> 00:34:05,910 Good idea, or slippery slope? 499 00:34:05,910 --> 00:34:07,550 Absolutely a good idea. 500 00:34:07,550 --> 00:34:09,730 Mental health days are incredibly important. 501 00:34:09,730 --> 00:34:15,181 I think the pandemic taught a lot of companies that. 502 00:34:15,181 --> 00:34:20,400 I know if I am having a really crummy day, I don't show up as my best self. 503 00:34:20,400 --> 00:34:23,106 I can get snippy or 504 00:34:23,106 --> 00:34:28,342 get a little curt in my responses. 505 00:34:28,342 --> 00:34:31,126 And no, I don't want to come off that way and 506 00:34:31,126 --> 00:34:35,494 I don't want people to receive that or internalize how I am feeling, 507 00:34:35,494 --> 00:34:39,590 especially when a lot of our conversation is happening in text. 508 00:34:39,590 --> 00:34:44,249 It's very easy to misinterpret the way that someone is saying something and 509 00:34:44,249 --> 00:34:46,810 implied tone that may or may not be there. 510 00:34:48,900 --> 00:34:53,615 And I have a tendency, It's 511 00:34:53,615 --> 00:34:59,390 easier to miss read my text when I'm not at my best. 512 00:34:59,390 --> 00:35:03,550 So I absolutely think you should take personal time and take a personal day, 513 00:35:03,550 --> 00:35:04,985 take a mental health day. 514 00:35:04,985 --> 00:35:10,264 And also you come first, your well being, your mental and 515 00:35:10,264 --> 00:35:14,370 emotional health should always come first. 516 00:35:15,420 --> 00:35:17,615 So if you need that absolutely take that. 517 00:35:23,338 --> 00:35:25,538 How do you as a manager lead by example and 518 00:35:25,538 --> 00:35:29,840 encourage your direct reports to be authentic while at work? 519 00:35:29,840 --> 00:35:33,207 I think it's important to set clear expectations. 520 00:35:33,207 --> 00:35:38,355 And what you need to succeed what you need to 521 00:35:38,355 --> 00:35:43,660 do your job well, and setting boundaries. 522 00:35:43,660 --> 00:35:48,919 I've had reports tell me some really wild things that have happened 523 00:35:48,919 --> 00:35:54,836 in team meetings, and they're not sure how to respond to that or what to do. 524 00:35:54,836 --> 00:35:57,611 And it's important to stand up for yourself and, 525 00:36:03,543 --> 00:36:08,457 Remember who you are, what you will accept, what you will not accept, and 526 00:36:08,457 --> 00:36:13,137 then sharing that in a respectful way of course with those around you and 527 00:36:13,137 --> 00:36:15,714 the people that you're working with. 528 00:36:47,859 --> 00:36:50,215 My post-COVID travel destination. 529 00:36:50,215 --> 00:36:55,270 Well, I just got back from Mexico a couple days ago. 530 00:36:55,270 --> 00:36:59,621 That was my first, I don't really know for post-COVID, but 531 00:36:59,621 --> 00:37:02,897 that was like my first lockdown destination.