Poor assistant... Why can't you give the assistant something more rewarding to do?

function goToCoffeeShop(drink, appreciation) {
    alert(drink + ' is on the way!');

    var additionalAction = '';
    switch(appreciation) {
    case 'tip':
        additionalAction = 'get drink fast';
        break;
    case 'hug':
        additionalAction = 'file sexual harassment complaint';
        break;
    case 'none':
        additionalAction = 'spit in coffee';
        break;
    case 'end-of-year bonus':
        additionalAction = 'give hug';
        break;
    case 'promotion':
        additionalAction = 'stop going to coffee shop';
        break;
    default:
        additionalAction = 'add to resentment';
    }
    return additionalAction;
}