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Now that you’re a pro at giving feedback, let’s look at the other side of the conversation - when you are the receiver.
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Now that you're a pro at giving feedback,
0:00
let's look at the other side of the
conversation when you are the receiver.
0:02
In a perfect world, people at all
levels of the business would seek and
0:07
provide constant feedback about
performance, engagement, and results.
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There'd be ongoing regular opportunities
to connect with coworkers and
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discuss how our work affects one
another and how we're each doing.
0:21
In your workplace, feedback may or
may not be happening so freely.
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You may have daily or weekly opportunities
to talk with your manager or
0:30
peers about how things are going.
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Or you may find yourself waiting until the
quarterly, semi annual or annual review.
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Whatever the practice
is in your workplace,
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you can help make it comfortable or even
rewarding for others to provide you with
0:44
feedback by responding in a way that
makes the process easy for them.
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Let's discuss some things you
can do to encourage real and
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ongoing feedback from others.
0:58
[SOUND] Ask for feedback.
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The first thing you can
do to make it easy for
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others to provide you
with feedback is ask.
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The sooner you can let your manager and
peers know that not only are you
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open to hearing their thoughts on your
work, but you want it, the better.
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You might say,
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I'd like to know how I'm doing, or
what are some things I could do better?
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By asking,
you're more likely to find out right away
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whether there are things you can do to
improve the impact you have on others.
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And if so, what they are.
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I actually set a reminder weekly to
check in with someone on how I'm doing.
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It's helped make receiving
feedback simple and natural.
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What if you hear feedback but
it's too general to act on?
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For example,
you gave a presentation to the team and
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afterward your manager says, good job.
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It's nice to hear that they
thought you did well, but
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do you know what specifically
they appreciated about your work?
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Or what if after the presentation
your manager says,
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your delivery needs some work?
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When feedback is general and
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not related to specific behaviors,
consider asking for more details.
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You might say,
could you share some more examples?
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Or what specific behaviors
can I work on next time?
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[SOUND] Assume positive intent.
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It can be hard to deliver
redirecting feedback.
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If someone is taking the time to
share their thoughts with you,
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their part will be much easier if you
avoid expecting perfect delivery.
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Often words don't come out
the way they're intended.
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The other person may come into the
conversation with the best of intentions
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and end up saying it in a way
that lands wrong for you.
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I encourage you to try not to expect
the other person to share their meaning
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perfectly.
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When you receive feedback that
sounds harsh check in with yourself.
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How are you feeling?
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Are you eager to defend yourself?
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If so, it's likely because you're
assuming that they have negative intent.
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Try to reframe it.
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Remind yourself that a message that sounds
harsh is likely just poorly delivered.
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And it's not the delivery that matters,
it's the message.
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If you choose to assume that feedback
is backed by positive intent,
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even when it's delivered in a hard or
clumsy way, you will be better positioned
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to see where you have
opportunities to improve and grow.
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This can typically be done internally,
talking it through in your head,
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creating the best possible
interpretation of the person's intent.
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Try reframing,
redirecting feedback in positive terms.
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Let's consider our prior example.
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You gave a team presentation,
afterward your manager said,
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your delivery needs work.
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You worked hard to script that
presentation and rehearsed for hours.
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Hearing those words you feel your
stomach drop, you wanna defend yourself.
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That little voice says,
my manager doesn't appreciate me, or
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they have no idea how hard I
worked on that presentation.
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Rather than agreeing
with that little voice,
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try telling yourself,
my manager wants me to be successful.
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They're looking for
opportunities to help me get better.
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Then ask them for
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more details about the behaviors
they'd like to see in the future.
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More than likely, they'll appreciate
the invitation to speak more freely and
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they'll give you advice that will make
your presentation stronger in the future.
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Maybe your presentation content was great,
but you spoke so
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fast it was hard to follow.
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Great, that's an easy fix for next time.
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Or your manager prefers slides
to be formatted another way,
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you used paragraphs and
they prefer bullets.
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Another easy fix.
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By reframing their intent you've
turned the conversation around and
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given yourself the opportunity
to improve your skills.
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What if you're having a hard
time reframing the message?
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Using this example,
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you might say to the other person,
I'm starting to feel defensive because it
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seems like you're implying that I didn't
put enough pre-work into my presentation.
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They'll probably appreciate
your transparency and
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the conversation will
take a positive turn.
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Focus on what is said, not who said it.
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Sometimes you may receive some
feedback that is anonymous.
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For example, if your employer has a 360
review process where peers provide
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each other with performance feedback,
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you may get a list of anonymous scores and
comments.
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It's tempting to try and figure out
who gave you reinforcing feedback and
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who did the opposite.
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But the real growth happens when you
focus on the message, not who sent it.
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I encourage you to focus
on what matters and
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avoid trying to figure out who said what.
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[SOUND] Watch for patterns.
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Have you gotten similar feedback for
more than one person?
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Or has the same person,
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maybe your manager, given you
the same feedback multiple times?
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If you're hearing the same message over
time, it's a good idea to ask yourself,
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what specific behaviors of mine
are they trying to point out?
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How is this behavior
impacting other people?
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And what adjustments can I make or
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what should I keep doing to
get the best possible results?
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Knowing the answers to these questions
will enable you to take real action.
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How do you close a feedback conversation?
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You might consider just saying thank you.
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What better way to ensure that this person
will continue to give you real and timely
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feedback in the future, than to let them
know you're open to it and appreciate it.
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Thanks for joining me to learn more
about giving and receiving feedback.
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Feedback can be tough, but
you've taken a brave step
7:07
towards getting better at
a challenging but essential subject.
7:10
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