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Before diving into the process, let’s review some important points about feedback.
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Before diving into the process,
0:00
let's review some important
points about feedback.
0:02
People crave feedback.
0:07
It's about perception.
0:10
Intention matters.
0:13
Timing is key.
0:16
It takes time to process feedback.
0:18
Vague feedback is not effective.
0:22
First, it's important to remember
that people crave feedback.
0:25
Have you ever come out of a meeting,
looked in the mirror and
0:29
realized that you just spent
the last hour talking to the group
0:32
with a piece of food stuck in your teeth?
0:35
How did you respond?
0:38
Did you think, why didn't someone
just tell me it was there?
0:40
Were they distracted the whole
time we were meeting?
0:44
If you're doing something that negatively
impacts your ability to get results,
0:48
you probably don't want
people to hold back and
0:52
not give you information to
enable you to get better.
0:54
This is generally true across the board.
0:58
People want to know how they're doing,
they want feedback.
1:01
Keeping this in mind should make it
easier to give feedback when it's needed.
1:04
It's about perception.
1:09
It can also be helpful to remember that
the feedback you give may be your truth,
1:11
but isn't necessarily the only truth.
1:16
Two people can see the same
situation quite differently.
1:19
By giving feedback,
1:23
you're telling the other person
how you perceive the situation.
1:24
When you provide feedback, you're letting
the other person know, in your words,
1:28
how their behaviors or
actions impacted you or someone else.
1:33
For this reason, I encourage you
to stay open to all possibilities.
1:38
As you give feedback,
watch their body language and listen for
1:43
indicators that they see it differently.
1:46
You might learn something by
inviting them to share with you
1:49
how they saw the same event.
1:52
Intention matters.
1:56
The reason for
1:57
giving feedback should ideally be that you
want the other person to be successful.
1:58
By giving feedback, it shows that person
you're invested in their growth and
2:03
know they can improve.
2:08
Giving feedback to prove
that you're right or
2:10
show them who's boss is
a misuse of the process.
2:12
Intention matters here.
2:15
Timing is key.
2:18
Have you had an annual performance
review or a report card at school and
2:20
received feedback on behavior that
was from weeks or even months prior?
2:24
How did that feedback land with you?
2:29
Well, you may have questioned
the validity of the feedback.
2:32
After all, feedback is about
the sender's perception, and
2:36
this is their perception from ages ago.
2:40
Do you even remember your perspective
of the incident they're describing?
2:42
Or you might have
questioned their intention.
2:47
If they want you to be successful,
why did they wait so
2:50
long to let you know adjustment is needed?
2:53
It is a very common mistake
delaying redirecting feedback,
2:56
because it's hard to do.
2:59
But waiting just makes
the conversation less effective.
3:02
So whenever possible,
try to give feedback in the moment.
3:05
Of course, if you're in a meeting or
other group setting, you'll need to wait.
3:09
Redirecting feedback should
be given in private.
3:13
As a rule of thumb, it's best to try
to give feedback within an hour of
3:17
the behavior and no more than a day later.
3:21
The longer you wait,
the less relevant the feedback will be.
3:24
If you know you tend to delay
giving redirecting feedback,
3:29
here are some things you might wanna try.
3:32
Roleplay with a trusted peer or
your manager.
3:35
Remind yourself that your reports and
peers want feedback.
3:39
Set a goal and just do it!
3:43
It won't be as hard as you're imagining.
3:45
It takes time to process feedback.
3:51
How do you feel when someone says
you need to improve your behavior?
3:54
How do you react in that moment?
3:58
Do you get quiet?
4:00
Do you get defensive?
4:01
When receiving feedback,
4:04
most people need a chance to really
consider the message and what it means.
4:05
So when you provide redirecting feedback,
4:10
remember, the other person will
seldom say thank you in the moment.
4:12
Give them space to absorb the message and
4:18
figure out how they will
adjust their behavior.
4:20
If they are quiet or even vocally
defensive, try giving them a pass.
4:23
Most people will ultimately appreciate
the honest feedback and act on it.
4:29
Let's talk about why vague
feedback is not effective.
4:35
It's nice to have someone say great work,
but then what?
4:40
Whether you're giving reinforcing or
redirecting feedback, vague praise or
4:44
criticism makes it hard for
4:49
the other person to understand you and
act on your feedback.
4:51
To get the most from the exchange,
4:55
be sure to give feedback that includes
an example of the behavior and its impact.
4:57
This brings us to the effective
feedback process.
5:03
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