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Before diving into the process, let’s review some important points about feedback.
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Before diving into the process,
0:00
let's review some important
points about feedback.
0:02
People crave feedback.
0:07
It's about perception.
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Intention matters.
0:13
Timing is key.
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It takes time to process feedback.
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Vague feedback is not effective.
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First, it's important to remember
that people crave feedback.
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Have you ever come out of a meeting,
looked in the mirror and
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realized that you just spent
the last hour talking to the group
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with a piece of food stuck in your teeth?
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How did you respond?
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Did you think, why didn't someone
just tell me it was there?
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Were they distracted the whole
time we were meeting?
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If you're doing something that negatively
impacts your ability to get results,
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you probably don't want
people to hold back and
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not give you information to
enable you to get better.
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This is generally true across the board.
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People want to know how they're doing,
they want feedback.
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Keeping this in mind should make it
easier to give feedback when it's needed.
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It's about perception.
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It can also be helpful to remember that
the feedback you give may be your truth,
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but isn't necessarily the only truth.
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Two people can see the same
situation quite differently.
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By giving feedback,
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you're telling the other person
how you perceive the situation.
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When you provide feedback, you're letting
the other person know, in your words,
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how their behaviors or
actions impacted you or someone else.
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For this reason, I encourage you
to stay open to all possibilities.
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As you give feedback,
watch their body language and listen for
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indicators that they see it differently.
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You might learn something by
inviting them to share with you
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how they saw the same event.
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Intention matters.
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The reason for
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giving feedback should ideally be that you
want the other person to be successful.
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By giving feedback, it shows that person
you're invested in their growth and
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know they can improve.
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Giving feedback to prove
that you're right or
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show them who's boss is
a misuse of the process.
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Intention matters here.
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Timing is key.
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Have you had an annual performance
review or a report card at school and
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received feedback on behavior that
was from weeks or even months prior?
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How did that feedback land with you?
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Well, you may have questioned
the validity of the feedback.
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After all, feedback is about
the sender's perception, and
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this is their perception from ages ago.
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Do you even remember your perspective
of the incident they're describing?
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Or you might have
questioned their intention.
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If they want you to be successful,
why did they wait so
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long to let you know adjustment is needed?
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It is a very common mistake
delaying redirecting feedback,
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because it's hard to do.
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But waiting just makes
the conversation less effective.
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So whenever possible,
try to give feedback in the moment.
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Of course, if you're in a meeting or
other group setting, you'll need to wait.
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Redirecting feedback should
be given in private.
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As a rule of thumb, it's best to try
to give feedback within an hour of
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the behavior and no more than a day later.
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The longer you wait,
the less relevant the feedback will be.
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If you know you tend to delay
giving redirecting feedback,
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here are some things you might wanna try.
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Roleplay with a trusted peer or
your manager.
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Remind yourself that your reports and
peers want feedback.
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Set a goal and just do it!
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It won't be as hard as you're imagining.
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It takes time to process feedback.
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How do you feel when someone says
you need to improve your behavior?
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How do you react in that moment?
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Do you get quiet?
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Do you get defensive?
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When receiving feedback,
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most people need a chance to really
consider the message and what it means.
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So when you provide redirecting feedback,
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remember, the other person will
seldom say thank you in the moment.
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Give them space to absorb the message and
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figure out how they will
adjust their behavior.
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If they are quiet or even vocally
defensive, try giving them a pass.
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Most people will ultimately appreciate
the honest feedback and act on it.
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Let's talk about why vague
feedback is not effective.
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It's nice to have someone say great work,
but then what?
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Whether you're giving reinforcing or
redirecting feedback, vague praise or
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criticism makes it hard for
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the other person to understand you and
act on your feedback.
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To get the most from the exchange,
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be sure to give feedback that includes
an example of the behavior and its impact.
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This brings us to the effective
feedback process.
5:03
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